Of all the comfy corners and spaces that I have found and created in
my lifetime, it is an undeniable fact that the comfiest place in the world is
in the arms my boyfriend. I know, I know - cue the vomiting or whatever, but
it’s true, I believe in it, and you can stop reading now if you disagree or if
you’re jealous or something, I don’t care. Many see me as a romantic, and I
wouldn’t deny that. I’m a sucker for love and everything that comes with it.
The fact is, I find so much solace and comfort in my relationship. And it isn’t
the special nights out or the anniversaries, it’s the simple things: a hand on
my knee on the subway home, a smiley face text in the middle of the day for no
reason, a shoulder to fall asleep on while I’m watching late night TV. So if
the best of times are in the simplest of moments, why are relationships so
difficult to maintain? I’ll tell you – I don’t know.
There is so much
advice, so many tips, so many blogs, so many books all dedicated to figuring
out the secret to a perfect relationship. And I’ve come to believe that there
is no secret. There are no rules. There is no advice. And there is definitely
no “model” for the perfect relationship. Every person is so different. Everyone
has different needs, ideas, senses of humor, goals, ideas, and personality
quirks, how can any singular person try to break that down into a steadfast set
of rules? It’s impossible. While, this may be discouraging to some, I find it
somewhat comforting. My relationship isn’t going to be like my best friend’s.
So there is no use comparing and being all, “Suzy’s boyfriend calls him like 8
times a day, and mine hasn’t even texted me yet and it’s 9pm.” Suzy might be in
an abusive relationship that’s gonna end tomorrow for all I know. So I can
relax and trust that what I have is great and worth fighting for.
And that’s what it
comes down to for me: trust. The guidelines I live my relationship by (and I
think everyone has to come up with their own set of guidelines unique to their
relationship) are trust, communication, and living in the moment. I have to
deal with the honest fact that my relationship could end tomorrow. He could
break up with me tonight in fact. And, while I feel fairly confident that he
won’t, I still have to be comfortable with that unknown. I have to just enjoy
the happiness that I have right now, in this moment. And I have to trust that
if I communicate with him openly about everything that I want and need, then
we’ll continue being together. Yeah, it’s scary, but it’s also exciting, right?
And totally worth it. I love my comfy corners, and I’d risk anything to find
the comfiest corner in the world. And I think I realize now, that I’ve already
found it. Stay comfy y’all.
