The Comfy Corner

1) When I am sitting next to someone on the bus or train and I wanna look at them or see what they're reading or texting but I know it'd be super awkward if I did.

2) When I am caught walking behind a smoker. Or if I am just caught walking behind a slow person.

3) When people are standing in front of exactly what I need at the grocery store and I either have to reach around them or ask them to move. I always pull the whole, "Oh I'm just browsing around the stuff right in front of you" move.

4) When I pour a bowl of cereal and then realize the milk is bad.

5) When a DVD starts skipping at the most pivotal point in the movie.

So I am not one that deals with changes very well. Of course, I get used to them and then don't remember what my life was like before them but whatever, it's still very disorienting when major things in my life change. For instance, Itunes recently changed its icon on my desktop...that threw me for a loop. And Gmail recently made some format changes and now I always click on the wrong buttons thinking they are the ones that used to be there. Finally, Facebook is always changing and this has caused me some real stress of late.

I liked the format where you could see all of the events you were invited to on one page, but now the events are all listed in one tiny little box on the edge of the screen and I forget that they are there. So last night I had some extra time to kill on Facebook, and I realized that I had a large number of events that I hadn't reconciled. So I had to go through every single one and select attending, not or maybe. This was an unreasonably stressful time for me. Especially since many of the events were for things like breast cancer, or mission trips, or gay rights, things that I want to support but can't, don't have the time, or I'm too lazy or poor! So here is what I normally do:

1) If it's not applicable to me at all, I click not attending and call it a day.
2) If it's not applicable to me but it's for a good cause, but I know I can't go, I'll click maybe attending.
3) If it's applicable to me, but I can't go and I know it's a good cause, I'll click not attending and write on the wall why I can't attend.
4) Sometimes, though, if it's for something that I could potentially attend, but I don't want to go because I'm lazy, but I should go because it's for cancer or something, I'll just click Attending and not go...

This last one fills me with so much guilt. STOP MAKING ME GUILTY FACEBOOK!

I am fortunate enough to live in the up and coming South End of Boston. I say "up and coming" because the area used to be super-duper sketch but then the gays moved in and made everything a little more...well, gay! Unfortunately, though, the gayness hasn't quite reached my apartment. I live right on the line between yuppie and scary. So I hear a lot of public domestic disputes outside my window ("Gimme mah phone, bitch!") but I can also walk less than a block to the nicest Spanish tapas restaurant in Boston.

This is all to preface a thought I had as I left my apartment the other day. I love the mornings and I love stepping outside my apartment and breathing in that first breath of morning air. The morning air where I live, though, is very different from the morning air where Chris lives, in Cambridge. When I leave Chris' apartment in the mornings there are birds chirping, people walking their dogs, people jogging, business people shuffling off to work etc. When I leave my apartment there are cars honking, pollution floating, homeless people screaming at each other, and buses roaring by. I immediately feel like I need to take another shower when I leave my apartment.

I suppose both types of morning air have their appeal. Sometimes, it's kinda nice to just be hit in the face with the dirt and bustle of city life first thing in the morning, but every now and then, I just want to walk out to morning air that is a little more...gay.

These signs are posted all over the Emerson bathrooms. I have a very strong urge to make a sign to put right next to it that says "Got Nubs? Kill Yourself."

You'd think when you come to college that all of your professors are going to be really amazing, smart people and awesome teachers. Unfortunately, that is the rudest awakening of all. Some of them are of course, but many professors simply lack basic teaching skills. They are just knowledgeable in their particular field of study (most of them) but they don't know how to best convey that information. Here are some personal examples of great ways to lose a student's trust/respect:

1) Trying to act cool by "connecting" with your students in awkward ways. For instance, constantly making weird jokes about sex and college hook-ups (and assuming everyone will find it funny). You really gotta earn a group's trust and respect before something like this becomes funny.

2) Trying to remember the names of all of your students when you have zero talent for remembering names. You'll just end up making a fool of yourself - "Ummm...are you Zach?" "No." "Oh, what's your name, again?"

3) Trying to do a PowerPoint presentation or show a film or something without coming in early and figuring out how the technology works ("Oh, I need a password?") This is a biggie. It always ends with some student awkwardly having to get up and show the teacher how everything works.

4) Making slides with a dark blue background and black font, then asking if anyone can read it (or writing on the board with a yellow marker).

5) Not knowing how to pronounce all of the words you typed in your PowerPoint or constantly stumbling over words like "heredity."

6) General unpreparedness. This means not forgetting the tests at home, not taking 3 months to grade a paper, not saying "um" a lot and forgetting what you were talking about.

7) Finally, and this is the best way to lose respect, saying things like "You all know this stuff better than I do." "I'm not an expert on this." or "It's really complicated, I don't know all the details."

You always read about internet scams but you never expect to become a part of one. I recently fell victim to one of these fraudulent hooplas in the most unexpected of ways...

I was purchasing my "Shakespeare Glossary" by C.T. Onions on Amazon, the book that my professor LaFeber (He's got La "Feber") said I will undoubtedly use for the rest of my life. I was quite excited to receive this book (I love glossaries! It's like one big organized list!). I sat on the stoop for weeks just waiting for the UPS man to arrive (at least, that's how I remember it). But, when I finally tore open the packaging and flipped through the pages I was greeted with utter confusion of numbers and weirdly worded phrases.

I immediately got discouraged by the book thinking that it was just some highly academic enigma that would take me years of training to understand. But, the other day in class, Anthony brought out the same copy of the book and said it was an internet scam that was made by some computer-robot scanning machine or something. When I got home I took a closer look at some of the definitions. Here are some examples from one random page in this large book of gems:

1) Music - NATUBE hares habituatlly pass, or run, when hunted, for relief

2) Minnock -(?)onewhoapesorfoolsabout MND. HI. ii. 19

3) M. isg'overnm (S.): fig. evil conduct

And my favorite:

4) m, isplace (not pre-S. in any sense): to use words in a wrong place

I know Shakespeare is likeaforeignlanguage, but com,e on: (?)

So, as promised, I got the picture. Does this make me a super duper creeper? Probably. She came back to the restaurant (she's starting to become something of a regular, probably because she likes me so much) and I finally built up the courage to ask for a pic. :) I gave her a discount in return. I also got her email (creeper...)...

It was an eventful evening! Everyone was all atwitter over the fact that Elphaba was eating there (most of our business comes from the theatre). I also got my first "call-me" message with a bill. There was a family sitting right across from Elphaba. The son was a cute, clearly-gay boy, who was giving me eyes every time I went to the table. Sure enough, when I picked up the bill he left his name and number on a napkin and wrote "Call me :)" Pretty gutsy to do that when your family is sitting there. I won't call you Kyle, because I'm taken, but I'm flattered. :)

I'm a bit of a crazy person when it comes to meeting celebrities. In my mind, I always picture myself coolly walking up to them and striking up a really casual/intellectual conversation about their work or whatever, but it usually ends up with me saying something really weird and unrelated like "You have great legs!"

This is all to preface a celebrity run-in I had the other day at work. I went up to the host stand and the host was like "The witch from Wicked is here somewhere!" I started jumping up and down like the birds of paradise or something. The hit Broadway musical, Wicked (The Untold Story of the Witches of Oz), is making a two month residency in Boston and everyone at work knows that I'm kind of obsessive and crazy about everything musical-related, so they all got really excited for me, but I couldn't seem to find her anywhere. I resorted to the fact that she probably just got take-out or something (Elphaba has a busy life after all!). But then, all my dreams came true.

I walked up to my next table and sure enough, there she was, green paint skirting the edges of her faces and black fingernails. My heart skipped several beats and I was like "So...you're in Wicked?" (DUH!!!). She was like, "Uh, yeah." And then I turned into a bumbling idiot saying things like "I've seen Wicked like four times and you're the best Elphaba ever!" I kept unnecessarily refilling her water, joining in on their conversation ("Yeah, what crazy weather! So randomly cold, OMG!") and when she left I slipped in a cutsie little, "Break a leg!" just to show off my theatre-saviness.

I had heard rumors that she wasn't a very nice person, but I'll be the first to say that she was very nice (putting up with all my weirdness ) and she tipped well. She did have crazy eyes...but I guess anyone would if they had to belt high G's suspended 30 feet in the air 8 times a week. My only regret is that I didn't get a picture with her to share with all of you. I might make that my project for the next month. Stay tuned for that one. :)

The best part about being a minority is that you are free and able to make jokes about the particular minority you belong to without having to look around first. For instance, I feel perfectly comfortable going up to tables at work and saying (In all seriousness) "Did you order the dumpring?" Or, if I make a bad driving move, I just blame it on my Asian-ness. Or if I figure out how to make the CD player switch to the auxiliary in class, I just say, "This is why every class needs an Asian." In general, I pull out the Asian jokes as often as I can. This is also why I can post pictures like this and make fun of the Boston Asians.


I literally snapped this pic 10 minutes ago as I was thinking to myself, "Wow, every Asian in the Chinatown/New England Medical Center area of Boston is carrying a pink bag." And then, sure enough, one passed by. Right after this guy passed by, I saw three or four Asian ladies with shopping carts filled with these pink bags. Apparently, they all shop at the same grocery store. Perhaps, I need to stop shopping at Trader Joe's?

The moral of the story is this - I'm usually down for any sort of Asian joke unless it becomes malicious. For instance, there was a guy in the show I was just in that point blank said to me, "It's so funny with you Asians, cause you never can tell how old you are." I was actually offended by both the comment and the smell (he smelled really bad). But that was followed by a perfectly harmless joke from another man that didn't smell bad at all, "What happens when you spin an Oriental around three times? He gets disoriented." Puns are okay, I suppose. Just avoid calling me Ching-Chang-Chong and we'll get along fine.

I have three pet peeves that must be addressed. Two of them came up at the same incident.

1) I hate it when restaurants lead you to believe they have something, but they actually don't - This morning I visited a small breakfast place in Cambridge called "The Biscuit." I was excited to visit for two reasons: 1. I love biscuits and the title of the restaurant would suggest that had a good one and 2. it seemed like a really popular place because people were lined up out the door. When I got inside, however, I didn't see anything on the menu that even looked breakfast related. So when I (finally) got to the register I asked the woman, "Do you have any biscuits or breakfast-related foods?" And she blankly replied that they have what's on the menu and what's on display (duh.) Then she followed that with, "The closest thing we have to a biscuit is our scones." Girl, please. I'm from the South, I used to make buttermilk biscuits for fun, you can't tell me any scone is going to go around disguised as a biscuit. I will not be returning to "The Biscuit" which should be named "The Scone."

2) I hate it when people feel entitled to do rude things - At "The Biscuit" this woman decided to squeeze her stroller right in front of us in the line, blatantly cutting. Chris and I looked at each other confused. Then she started shaking her head and complaining TO US about how busy it was. Then, a different woman was working at her computer and she looked disapprovingly at the open door and said to me (and I didn't even open the door), "Would you close that door?" with a 'tude as if I was the doorman or something! I'm sorry lady, but if you want something done, get up and do it yourself. And it was a perfectly beautiful, legitimate day to have the door open. Some people...

3) I hate it when people make me feel stupid, when they are actually the stupid ones - I was at a parking garage recently and I asked the guy at the counter what the monthly rates were and he said there was a sign around the corner. I responded "Great, I have another question for you..." but he cut me off and said "I said, it's around the corner." I said, "I know, thanks, but I wanted to ask..." Then he got frustrated and came around and pointed more directly to where the sign was. I lost it, it had been a rough day to begin with, so I walked over to the sign, put my finger on it and said, "I KNOW! I SEE THE SIGN! I HAVE A DIFFERENT QUESTION FOR YOU!" Again, some people.

I have a bit of a confession to make. I used to pride myself on leading a very healthy lifestyle. I stayed away from caffeine, I got eight hours of sleep every night, I cleaned my room semi-regularly, I would go on random little diets just to test my will power (no bread this month!, No Artificial Sugars for a week!) etc. This summer, however, has proved to turn all of those things upside down. Perhaps being in a relationship has brought out some innate laziness or something, but I have been to the grocery store once this summer (!). The rest of my food was either bought in restaurants, at fast food places or I just ate my employee meal at work (and let's just say - I don't work at the healthiest restaurant).

To add to the unhealthiness, I started to make a habit of getting breakfast at Starbucks every morning, to the point where I no longer have to pay for my venti (that's right, venti), sweetened (that right, sweetened) iced coffee (with half and half) and I no longer actually have to order. The other day though I ordered my venti and the woman who knows me all too well looked at me and said, "Would you like to try our new, bigger size, the Trenta." And out of nowhere she pulled out this mammoth cup that made the venti look like a tall. My mouth dropped when she showed me the cup. It was like a "double gulp" at 7-11. Thank god I said no. But this is what America has come to. America is a big, fat distracted baby, and venti is no longer big enough. Sad day, America, sad day.

I waited on some British people tonight that absolutely made me sick. They came in with a 20 percent off coupon for their meal which I applied to the meal, no problem. But then, their pasta came out too soon after their appetizer and the woman complained about it being cold. This isn't all too uncommon, we simply reheated the pasta for her and gave it back, easy fix. But at the end of the meal, they decided that they should be compensated for all of their suffering. They wanted something done to the bill. I sighed and took the matter to the manager, who then graciously comped all of their food (so they only had to pay for the wine and beer they ordered and their appetizer). They took one look at this severely reduced bill and said, "What happened to the 20% off?" So I took it back and we took 20% off of the remaining food on the bill (the coupon only applied to food). They got a whopping 2 more dollars off of their bill. They then started to complain about how the discount didn't apply to alcohol. My manager very kindly explained the rules and they called him a bitch and left without tipping me a penny.

This whole situation made me really sad for humankind. Why are there people out there like this? Needless to say, they made me feel really upset. The other servers could tell how upset I was and one of them asked me if this was my first serving job. I said yes and he said "Yeah, when I worked my first serving job I used to wake up in the middle of the night sweating thinking that I forgot to run someone's food or something." This is absolutely true. Ever since I've started waiting tables I have had several stress dreams about forgetting to ring in orders, food running late etc. It is a stressful job and I think more people out there need to realize that it isn't as easy as you think.