Alrighty, so we've reached July. It's that magical moment that signifies half a year gone. We all have found ourselves smack dab in between New Year's Day and New Year's Eve. To celebrate, I'd like to go on a miniature rant about charm. Related vocabulary? Small talk, schmoozing, winning over, fake laughter, and "bink." Bink is a term my friend Kevin uses whenever he turns on the charm. He says "bink" in a high pitched voice and puts the back of his hand on his cheek and smiles the most charming smile I've ever seen. He could get away with murder with bink. So damn charming and so damn useful.
I've been thinking about "bink" a lot lately because I've found myself at a couple opening night parties for shows. And, if you've never been to an opening night party at a theatre, it is quite an experience. You can gaze around the room and find old gay men holding glasses of red wine erupting into fake laughter at timed intervals. Yeah, it's a bit much, and it makes me feel kind of cheap, but I totally play into it. I laugh at all the bad jokes, I tell stupid stories, say weird cliche things like "Wow, who let this guy into the theatre?" or "They let people like you come to these events?" It's enough to make someone throw up but it is also a skill that I think more people should stop complaining about and learn to embrace.
I hate it when people refuse to put up their "bink" every now and then. I've known a lot of people who are like, "I refuse to be anything but myself and feel exactly what I'm feeling at the moment." This drives me crazy. Just pretend to be charming for a moment so my friends will like you. Just be nice to the waiter even if you aren't in a good mood, because the have to get through their night with some amount of sanity. Once you get to know people on a deeper level then you can feel free to let go of the "bink" and be real. But it is like an unspoken rule of society. It's a silly game, really, and I realize that, but it is also so vital to making friends (and keeping them). Also (and this is especially true in theatre), it can get you a job. So I've learned to embrace it and, at times, enjoy it. It's like a game. Who can I "out-bink"? So I will go to the party, I will turn on my "bink" and I will make friends, leaving all those "real" people to sulk and complain in the corner.
2 comments:
I think you can "bink" without being fake. Sometimes people try too hard and it comes off as not being genuine. Then it's worse. And annnoying.
Oh, that's a very good point. I think the skill comes in being able to turn it on without it seeming forced. It isn't easy.
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