The Comfy Corner

Did you see that episode of "30 Rock" guest starring John Hamm as the beautiful guy who turns out to be really stupid but no one really cares because he is so handsome that he gets everything he wants and deludes himself into thinking that he is actually talented and smart when in reality he's a moron? Well, I did see it. And I've been thinking about that a lot recently. It's what Liz Lemon called, "the bubble." Pretty people reside in the bubble and are blissfully ignorant as they enjoy such things as tickets to the theatre, tables at dinner, and free appetizers. When I heard about this, I thought, "Ugh, I know people like that. I hate those people." But then, something happened that made me realize that I MIGHT BE IN THE BUBBLE!!

I was attempting to get tickets to see "Follies" with Kevin. Stupidly, we slept in and got there way too late. The man informed us that they had already sold all the rush tickets. We were crushed. It was our last chance to see this amazing musical. But then, the guy took one look at the cute gay couple in front of him yearning for an evening of Bernadette singing Sondheim and he said, "Well, let me see what I can do for you guys." And then he sold us orchestra center seats for only 39 dollars saying, "Don't tell anyone I did this for you. These tickets are normally 110 or more." A rush of empowerment flooded over me because I suddenly realized what it felt like - inside the bubble.

Then, the downward slide began. I realized that as long as I look presentable and dress appropriately, I could probably use my looks to get all sorts of things! I could walk into almost any restaurant and use the bathroom without actually being a patron. I could comb my hair and waltz into a theatre at intermission and catch Act Two without a ticket. I could even charm my way into getting a free burger if I wanted! Ugly, homeless people wouldn't be able to get away with things like that, right!? Then, the horrible thought came to me, "Life must be so much harder for ugly people!" ... YUCK! WHO AM I!?! JENNA MARONEY!? Apparently, yes I am. I've joined the bubble. Now that I have reached the level of beauty and confidence that has put me in the bubble, I must deal with the consequences of feeling pity for those of lesser greatness. *Sigh* Life's hardships, I suppose. But, I'm still of humble upbringing so whether you're in the bubble or not, I wish you the comfiest of corners.

My friend Laura recently joined the peace corps. Before she left for her two year expedition she mentioned to me that she would not have running water in her African village. I checked in with her the other day on the water situation and she said that in the winter she catches rain water and in the summer she hires a village child to fetch the water for her. Both, she says, are "really lazy ways of obtaining water." So now, as I draw my nightly bath (with a simple flick of my wrist), throw in my bath bomb, and light my vanilla-scented tea lights, I begin to think about the things I often complain about - out loud. My #firstworldproblems. Here are a few.

1) "Siri never understands me! Now I have to manually check the weather forecast!"

2) "Why do we even have top sheets? No one really needs them, they just end up at the foot of the bed."

3) "My DVR is so finicky. It randomly decides what it wants to record."

4) "We ordered that pizza like 45 minutes ago. I'm gonna rip them apart on Yelp."

5) "Netflix is being so slow today, what is wrong?"

6) "Our water is too hot! And if you move the nob like a millimeter it goes immediately to icy cold."

7) "Ugh, I can't find my Starbucks gift cards!"

8) "The fresh linen scent is too harsh for me. I much prefer apple spice and delight." Sidenote: I threw away the can of fresh linen. It wasn't empty.

9) "Is it just me or is our Keurig brewing really weak coffee?"

10) "Ugh, I hate when steak is served with a sweet demi-glace. I much prefer it savory."

Moral of the story? We should all probably enjoy our comfy corners a little more and complain a little less. After all, you could be in an African village with no running water - like Laura. Stay comfy ya'll!

I recently worked a temp job and this old security guard I was working with asked me what I did for a living. When I told him I was an actor he said, "Oh, okay. Lemme ask you something. Approximately when do most people like you decide to give up on your dream?" I don't get upset very often but this question really upset me. Who did he think he was?!? So I said to him, "Who are you to just come up to me and ask me when I'm gonna give up on my dreams? You don't even know me! You don't know what I can do, what my dreams even are!" I was riled up and rightfully so. How can he judge my profession when he has no idea what it even entails? And then he went on to explain that real success was "someone like Clint Eastwood. Someone who also gets behind the camera. That's when you know you're successful." This is when I stopped listening to him. Clearly his definition of success was different from mine.

I've been thinking a lot about this ever since and I've decided that no one else can determine what success is for someone else. When I told my mom I was joining AFTRA (the union for TV actors) she said, "Oh, one day you'll be on the cover of People magazine!" That, to her, would be real success. So, there ya go. When it comes to acting there is no definition of success. Is Meryl Streep more successful than Taylor Lautner? I would instinctually say yes, but in reality there is no comparison because they have to determine their own ideas of success. So what is success to me? I suppose it's just to do what I love. If I'm doing that, then I think I'm pretty successful. But then again, maybe success is simply just sitting here on my couch with cookies, Ina Garten, and the comfiest corner. After all, I'm doing what I love!

Stay comfy ya'll!

I have taken care and effort into developing an effective method of meeting new people and building new relationships. There is a level of social obedience and propriety we all must maintain if we want to attract and invite new friends into our lives (and keep them) and there are, I believe, some basic rules. My primary rule of thumb for first time interactions? Try to keep spontaneous conversation clicking as long as possible before resorting to hackneyed starters like, "So, do you have any siblings?" Since moving to the city, however, I've discovered that I'm meeting and interacting with so many different people in so many different situations that it is becoming difficult to maintain my rules. So many people, so little time! It's a conundrum! So, I've discovered the beauty of "single-serving friends" and they come with an entirely different set of rules.

Single-serving friends are the people that you meet once and then never come across ever again in your lifetime. They are the people you end up in conversations with at Starbucks. The tourists you wait on at your restaurant job. The people you sit next to on planes. The great thing about them is that there are really no rules! When I used to wait tables, (God, it feels good to have that in the past tense!) I would tell my tables that I was born in Hong Kong and went to an English speaking school till I was five. What do they know? I sometimes tell inquisitive tourists that I'm on Broadway starring in Wicked. And airplanes? Oh, please. The BEST place for single-serving friends. Where else can you unload your problems on total strangers and not feel guilty about falling asleep mid-conversation??

So yes, we should should always be kind to our single-serving friends. I suppose you never really know if that person in Starbucks will some day be "the one." Or if that man on the plane is randomly a Broadway producer. Or if that guy on the elevator is a serial killer. So stay comfy ya'll because we can all rest easy knowing that for at least one moment in our day, the pressure to "turn it on" is off. You can feel free to drop off mid-sentence and they wo

In a world that is ever changing, in an economy that is dangerously unstable, in a career that is incredibly unpredictable, and having just graduated from theatre school and moved to a big, new city, I've resolved that making real resolutions this year is resolutely irresolute. That's why, I'm calling my resolutions this year my New Year's "Irresolutions" because they are fraught with uncertainty. So here are the things that I officially resolve to be uncertain about actually accomplishing. This way I can't possibly disappoint myself!

1) Take a bubble bath three nights a week (every night, bonus points)
2) Cook all of my meals from the Barefoot Contessa cookbook
3) Stop drinking (so much)
4) Give up coffee (on Wednesdays)
5) Make my Broadway debut (is this possible in conjunction with 3 and 4? Only time will tell)
6) Meet Tina Fey and convince her to use the catch phrase "You've got options, girl!" on 30 Rock
7) Sing a duet with Michael Buble, and then go back to his place
8) Open an IRA
9) Floss daily
10) Write a musical
11) Give up Starbucks
12) Gain 10 pounds (of muscle)
13) Lose 5 pounds (of emotional baggage)
14) Join a barbershop quartet
15) Film an Amica commercial
16) Ride in a helicopter
17) Go to a gay wedding
18) Touch Beyonce (if 17 and 18 can be accomplished simultaneously, bonus points)
19) Use Google Earth, a map, and some strategic longitudinal coordinates and graph paper to pinpoint the exact location of Ina Garten's home in the Hamptons. Have a picnic in her yard.
20) FIND THE COMFIEST CORNER IN THE WORRRLLLDDD!!!!!

Have the comfiest year folks! Stay healthy! Live long and prosper! NEVER GIVE UP! NEVER SURRENDER!