9/08/2013

Sandbox Time

Posted by Unknown |

It is fifth grade. A sweaty, overweight, pre-diabetes half-Asian youth is released onto the gravel playground of his elementary school. Beads of sweat immediately form on his upper lip as he shields his eyes from the harsh afternoon sun and gazes upon the game of kickball that the athletic boys are starting up by the jungle gym. Afraid of sweating through his shirt too soon he climbs the jungle gym, finds a comfy place to sit, and begins to commentate the kickball game. "Zach is up for the kick. He's looking anxious. Will he be able to help out his team this time?" He nods his head in satisfaction. Yeah, this is his idea of fun. But eventually he realizes no one is listening to him and he joins his two best friends: Kelly, the super-Christian and Kandace, who often kicks him in the shins for no reason. They draw a definitive circle in the gravel and begin to play their favorite game: push the other person out of the circle. It's like sumo wrestling, with less rules. The half-Asian, because of his weight advantage, usually wins. He would always win, but he loses on purpose to Kandace for fear of being kicked in the shins. Then the whistle is blown and this joyous, carefree hour of recess ends. The half-Asian sulks back into the place of learning with a sweat soaked shirt, a dozen fond memories, and a sadness that the hour of play has ended so abruptly.

You guessed it, that half-Asian was me. And I tell that slightly embarrassing story because I recently ended a month long recess period. Sometimes shows feel like a job, sometimes it's just for the money, and sometimes they feel like that time you were a kid and you were playing in the sandbox with your friends for hours (but it felt like only minutes) and you never wanted to leave and when it came time to say goodbye, you cried. That's what this show was for me. It was sandbox time. I mean, it was just an Andrew Lloyd Webber show, ya know? A lot of fluff, not much content, the gayest thing since Grindr. But every single show, I cried at the end. There was something about this group of people, the place we were in, the ensemble we had,  and my emotional state at the time that just clicked for me. I felt it. I felt it pretty hard. We weren't really changing the world with this production but this production was kind of changing my world. It restored for me that sense of freedom and joy that I got when I was playing "push the other person out of the circle" in fifth grade. And when it came time to say goodbye, it was like hearing that whistle that marks the end of recess. I was sad. But like, a happy sad. "Bittersweet" is usually the word people use. Happy that I had the experience, but sad that it was time to go back to real life.

But there is always a silver lining to returning to real life, right? I mean, as Alfred Pennyworth says to Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins, "Why do we fall master Bruce? So we can learn to get back up." Without real life, we would have nothing to compare sandbox time to, am I right? Thus sandbox time wouldn't be special. So for now, I'm looking fondly back on my month of recess. And I'm looking forward to the next time that bell rings and I get to go back outside and play again. And until that time comes, stay comfy, y'all!

12 comments:

gonzosgirrl said...

Lovely post, Nathan. I witnessed those tears of yours myself on the opening weekend. I hope that it makes those bittersweet memories a little bit sweeter to know that you and the rest of this wonderful cast made a lot of people very, very happy.

Peggy Walker said...

I just loved this blog, Nathan. It is wonderful to read that the cast experienced this show as something unique and special, because the audience felt that way too. I was there with a group of 6 friends from SoCal the last week before closing. I don't remember ever seeing another show where it seems like the entire cast were giving it everything they had for the sheer joy of it. You all managed to make the audience part of the show in the best possible way. A great number of people are wishing for a do-over in a place they never heard of before. Thank you for your part in making an unforgettable experience for me and so many others.

gerra said...

Lovely blog. I so wish I could have witnessed recess.

dancermom2 said...

I love your blog Nathan. I am glad that the cast felt the magic too. I was there in Ogunquit for the closing weekend of Joseph. It was something special in Ogunquit. You could feel it in the theater...in the air...in your heart...at the stage door. The synergy of the cast, the play, the town...it just came together into something more than the sum of it's parts. I had a magical time when I was there too. Friends, Clay, the town, the play...it was an amazing weekend. And I want a do over

boots61 said...

Thank you for taking the time to write such a heartfelt blog. I loved the tv interview with Clay because he spent half the time talking about his "family". You could tell how you all bonded. Glad to know you felt the same. It came across on stage and truly made it magical for the lucky ones that got to see it in person.

SueReu said...

Nathan, thank you so much for the blog - you are a very talented writer, I've enjoyed MANY of your blogs, but this one made me tear up in a good, bittersweet kind of way.

And don't underestimate your impact, you may not have changed the world on a grand scale, but you most definitely changed the world for so many people who experienced this particular play, with this particular cast, in this particular setting. Thank you for my own sandbox moment and thank you for taking me away from real life, if only for a moment. It did change my world and most definitely for the better.

operarocks247 said...

Nathan I was there too and want you to know my eyes were drawn to you so often when you were onstage. You have a special something about you. I had already read some of your blogs and this one today is wonderful, so happy you had a fantastic time there with the cast and the place.

Cotton said...

I felt that "Happy Sad", too, when the curtain fell (so to speak) on the last of my three times seeing the show.
Yes, friends & family think I'm nuts when I see a show more than once. "Why?", they ask.
Because - you see something different each time.
Because - the voices take me away, lift me to somewhere ordinary life does not.
Because - I'm OLD, but I AIN'T DEAD YET and it's FUN!

So, thank you for that little piece of heaven, or to use your analogy, the sandbox!

It was fun playing and I hated to hear the bell!

Cotton

Unknown said...

Nathan,
What a lovely heartfelt blog, and such an apt comparison. From the moment the lights went down and the music began to play, I felt that"something" special feeling that is so hard to put into words. Real life is often hard and tedious. Such a gift that you and the entire cast gave to us the audience. A magical, wonderful escape from all of that which weighs us down. I so enjoyed playing in the sandbox- thanks for inviting us all in.

Lucia said...

Nathan,
Awesome blog. I was there, all the way from Brazil, to see Clay. I ended up meeting and getting to know so many truly awesome artists, like you. So it was sandbox time for me too and I love that you all feel that way. It was a sepcial moment in time. Best wishes,
Lucia

macmom said...

Enjoyed your blog so much. Thanks to you all for a beautiful magical "sandbox" in the Joseph play. I went to see Clay as Joseph but was captivated by the whole cast and the Ogunquit community. Thanks for giving us such a wonderful and fun show.

Anna G said...

Hi Nathan, it was a wonderful time for us too. So happy that you had sandbox time, definitely to be treasured! I wasn't there at the play everyday in person, but I was cheering for you guys in spirit. We all were. *loves*

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