Last weekend I returned to nature. Now, when I say I returned to nature, I'm afraid you might be imagining me going for a light day hike in Long Island... uh, you would be wrong. You would be very wrong!!! I returned to nature, y'all. To be specific, I returned to 22 miles of nature through the Lye Brook Wilderness of Vermont. Allow me to paint a picture of just how much nature was in this nature. On the trail, there was a sign that said, "This trail is designed for the truly adventurous hiker. The kind of person seeking a real challenge. It is minimally maintained and there are few, if any, bridges. Good luck!" This was not a sign that was lying. This was a sign that was telling the truth. There were downed trees everywhere. EVEN THE TREES COULDN'T HACK IT! AND THEY'RE TREES! In fact, it was worse than the sign had suggested, because after we crossed the river (via a beaver dam because "few, if any, bridges") we realized that a recent hurricane had completely flooded out our trail (if you could even really call it a trail). So we were forced to venture off trail and brave the actual wilderness. Perhaps you've heard of the term "bush whacking"? Yeah, that's what we were doing. This wasn't Vermont, y'all. This was the straight up Amazonian rainforest. These woods were overgrown like I've never seen. And I was wearing shorts (Yes, they were cargo shorts, I'm guilty okay, but I needed all the pockets I could get)! In any event, these were not shorts conditions! I might as well have been in a mini skirt, because my legs were slowly being destroyed by mother nature. I was dealing with the mud, the flooding, cuts on my legs, the mosquitoes (dear God, the mosquitoes), the walking through spiderwebs, the snakes, and just when I was getting used to all of that, we realized that we were completely lost. And just as we began to pore over our map, that's about when it started to POUR rain. Which is shortly before the time that I checked my phone only to realize that we were in the midst of a severe thunderstorm warning and we were being told to seek shelter immediately (the warning included a list of the dangers of being outside and the risks of lightning strikes). As the rain leaked through my muddy poncho and my hands clutched a soaked, useless map, I suddenly realized that I had developed something that I haven't had in a long time - perspective.
RuPaul once said something in a podcast that has really stuck with me. He said that you have to "Google Earth your life." When I was on that trail, lost, in the rain, on the cusp of potential death by lightning strike, I literally pulled out my phone and Google Earthed my life and it all made sense! I said, "Oh! That's where that lake is, I need to go this way!" (Thank God for iPhones and Verizon signal in the wilderness) And now that I am back in the comfort of my home, sitting with my Mac, a Bulleit manhattan in hand, I have realized that I need to have that kind of perspective in my daily life! Any time I am feeling nervous, lost, scared, confused I can always "Google Earth" the situation. Two fingers. Zoom out. Boom. Everything makes sense again. It's all perspective, y'all! No matter how shitty a situation is, you can always change it simply by changing your perspective on it. By looking at the bigger picture. The macrocosm, not the microcosm. As RuPaul expounds, "The call is coming from inside the house!" It's all you, y'all! Joy emanates from within. And you gotta take that journey yourself. You can't rely on anyone else to upload that Google Earth app for you! If you can't learn to love yourself, how the hell you gonna love anybody else? Can I get an amen? You gotta download that app and sign in! And once you've got it all loaded up, just zoom out y'all. And then you'll be like, "Oh! That's it? That's what I'm dealing with? I got this."
Also, I should mention, when you're in the wilderness, the things you take for granted in life suddenly become luxuries (toilets, lights, stoves, air conditioning, chairs) and you have no choice but to develop some perspective. So comfy cornerers, if you're feeling a little lost in your life, I recommend literally taking a hike, and then just do a Google Earth. It really, really helps. Stay comfy y'all.
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