The Comfy Corner

The only thing I hate more than Olive Garden is the commercials for Olive Garden (and the whole Khloe Kardashian and Lamar wedding, but that's for a different blog). This rant is probably a bit dated because the whole "When you're here you're family" campaign has been going on for quite some time now, but this has been bugging me for a long time and they are still coming out with newer, more infuriating commercials. They all consist of some super fake "family" all laughing at the table with the waiter saying something really vomit-y like "The usual again today, Tom?" and then some family member, wiping off the tears from the laughter, being like "Oh Tom, try something new already." Then he tries the poop ravioli with fake sauce and suddenly "I think I have a new usual!" followed by unwarranted group laughter.

Dear Olive Garden, I propose a new approach to your "When you're here you're family" campaign. A more realistic approach. A family of four is sitting at a small booth quietly eating their dinner. The sister says something like "Would you hate me if I said I was pregnant?" The mother drops her fork, the dad changes the subject by saying "Where is our damn waiter? We asked for more breadsticks like 30 minutes ago." And then the mother starts crying and the son says something like "These breadsticks rock, but they make me so gassy." He farts. No one laughs. Fade to black "Olive Garden. When you're here you're family." I would eat at a restaurant like that.