3/21/2011

The Actor's Curse

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Most people go through their whole lives just working, taking care of the family, and plowing through the daily routine. That's what my parents are doing and that's probably what your parents are doing. But I went to theatre school. And I feel like I am cursed. Semester one at Emerson was a lot of discovery, crying, and rolling on the floor. Phrases like "milling and seething" and "rolling down my spine" became a second language for me. And, while these things have done wonders to my acting abilities, they have been a pain in my ass when it comes to just living life. For instance, I was listening to a friend of mine tell this awesome story about how she got really sick in Europe and everyone thought she was going to die. But, I wasn't just sitting there enjoying the story, I was thinking about how good she was at storytelling. And sure enough, after she finished the story, another (actor) girl at the table was like, "That was the best storytelling you've ever done." Who says shit like that?! Actors, that's who.


Or I've also noticed that when somebody says "How ya doin'?" I actually pause for a moment to consider my current state of being before I reply with, "good." Most people, I feel, just answer that question quickly and efficiently but I feel some weird obligation to give an honest check in. Let's be real, no one actually wants a real answer to that question. Gone are the days of just letting my emotions bottle up and fester and manifest in some weird habit or something. Oh no. I am constantly exploring how I feel about everything. And when I talk to my friends we fucking analyze everything. If someone is a close talker or has a weird problem with eye contact, we say that it is probably related to a childhood event or some lack of self confidence. We legit diagnose people. No longer can I watch a show or movie without commenting about the truthfulness of it. Actors are cursed. Actors are also lazy. They claim that life is their practice (which is true to some degree). They use and abuse everything. And that's the curse I'm destined to live with.

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