The Comfy Corner

I'm standing at a precipice. The realization that it's time to start being an adult is settling on me. I'm not totally there. I'm not about to do something crazy like get married or buy throw pillows or anything, but if the bridge to adulthood were an actual bridge, then I'd say that I just found the bridge on a map and I'm headed that direction. And I'm not afraid to admit it, I know where I'm going. I'm likely to make a few pits stops along the way because once you cross the bridge to adulthood there is no turning back and I wanna make sure I've experienced everything I can on this side of the bridge before I cross it. But, here are some of the things I've recently decided are important foot stones on the drunken, regret-laden, sometimes-I-black-out-and-sing-Taylor-Swift path to adulthood.

1) Be a Good Host - This pertains to both parties and having guests over for the night. At parties, have some alcohol available ahead of time (no mid party liquor store runs) and have some food and non-alcoholic options (not everyone wants to get drunk). When having guests over for the night, have blankets and pillows ready, offer them a drink, some food, coffee in the morning, and a clean towel. A good host has more to offer than just a couch.

2) Don't Drink Tequila, Ever - As an almost-adult I've decided that there are certain alcohols I should and shouldn't drink. Tequila, for me, is a no-no. Find your no-no's and your go-go's! I have my go-to drink, a vodka soda, that not only helps me avoid scream-singing "I Can Go the Distance," but it also helps me keep my manly figure.

3) Get Home Before Two - "I have work in the morning..." is now, I have officially decided, a perfectly acceptable excuse to exit or avoid any potentially non-adult situation. I am an almost-adult and I need to show up to work in the morning well rested and without a hangover (or God-forbid still being a little drunk).

4) Bring a Bottle of Wine to a Party - In my transition from newborn baby to adult (I feel as though I've skipped all stages in between those two), I've decided it is now unacceptable to show up to a party empty handed. Adults bring something for the host, be it wine or Oreos. Something.

5) Remember to Close Your Tab - Adults don't get so drunk that they forget where they are or that they have to pay for things. Adults pay for things. Don't steal. Children steal. Adults have children, they don't act like children. I'm not ready for children. I may never be an adult... Moving on...

6) Wear Nice Clothes - I've reached a point in my life where I not only feel the need to start acting like a grown up, but I also feel the need to start looking like one. Shaving and showering happen on a regular basis now and I own more button ups and sweaters than ever before! I recently bought a pair of chinos. Times are changing.

7) Read the News - In college, I felt, for some reason, that it was okay to say things like, "No I don't know about what's happening in Israel because I'm in college!" That is no longer okay. Adults know what's going on in the world and can offer their piece of the opinion pie in any adult conversation.

8) Save Receipts - An adult is prepared for an audit. I'm not that kind of adult yet. And I don't foresee myself making enough money any time soon to need to be that adult. But I have started saving receipts!

9) Spend Money on Things - I've reached the point in my life where I am starting to realize that there are no more semesters. There is no "next chapter" plainly in view. My future right now is giant shards of amorphous confusion that I have about sixty or so years to piece together into something I won't call regret. So... I should start investing in furniture that will last for a length of time.

10) Buy Groceries - I'm cooking more of my meals than I ever have in the past. Adults cook. And adults know how to find the sales. Adults save leftovers and remember they are in the fridge.

I'm becoming an adult. It's scary to admit, I know, but I'm ready to embrace it. I'm packing my "emergency bag for the rest of time." The lonesomeness, the burden, the struggle, of adulthood is at my doorstep and I'm going to answer the door with confidence.

Stay comfy y'all