The Comfy Corner

I was in the "Laz Cafe" the other day (it's this amazing cafe right next to my apartment that makes anything you could possibly want and they deliver) when this crackhead walks in and loudly says "HEY! Whatch ya'll gots to eat roun' here?" The guy at the register didn't know how to respond. So the crackhead continued saying, "Ya'll gots some a dem wing dings?" The guy at the register said, "yeah, we do." So he was like "I want ten a dem. Well done." And as the guy was busy making his "wing dings, well done" he shouted "Yo, lemme have a salad too...'cept I don't want no lettuce, extra cucumbers, some onions, tomatoes, olives, cheese..." and then his voice kinda trailed away. Meanwhile, I'm just standing at the counter reading the menu trying to decide what I want. As I stood there watching this happen I thought about all of the annoying people I've had to deal with in my life that don't understand the concept of a menu.

In the restaurant I get so many people who sit down, I put a menu in front of them and they immediately say something along the lines of "I'd like an extra large pizza with mushrooms, onions, pepperoni, sausage, peppers, extra cheese...hey ya'll got anchovies?" to which I typically respond, "No, but we do have a menu. And we charge for extra toppings, so that's already gonna be like a twenty dollar pizza. And they only come in individual sizes, this isn't Papa John's."

It is frustrating beyond belief. Do people never go out to eat? And what possesses those people to suddenly walk into a mid range chain restaurant? And when they walk in, why do they act like they know exactly what they're doing when in fact they haven't the slightest clue? WE HAVE A MENU FOR A REASON! I just don't understand why anyone would walk into a restaurant to have dinner if they don't like what is offered on the menu. It doesn't make any sense. Modifications to what we have on the menu? Sure. But this isn't your momma's kitchen. We have rules.