The Comfy Corner

So, I've recently been stressing a lot about what kind of clothes I should be wearing. Clothes are a big part of one's personality and I feel like I have somehow never really developed a sense of style. I like wearing black so my style has pretty much consisted of a pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt. That usually makes me pretty happy. But recently, I've felt this thirst to go beyond the black and venture into the world of patterns and colors. And I was doing pretty well! I spend a couple hundred dollars at every poor, gay man's two favorite stores H&M and Forever XXI. And I got some cool plaid shirts, nice pants, a sensible cardigan, I even got a hat! And I've felt so comfortable wearing these clothes until tonight when my nephew looks at me and says, "You need a new pair of shorts!" I look down at my just-above-the-knee, fitted shorts and say, "Why?" He says, "Those are WAY to small." I look at his sagging cargo shorts that are mid-shin and say, "Well, at least I'm not wearing capris! Pull your pants up and get a belt." I showed that 12-year-old.

But in all seriousness, fashion in the South is way different than it is in the North. The clothes I feel comfortable in up there, I feel silly in down here. I suppose that is why I am still hanging on to my few pairs of cargo shorts that my boyfriend hates so much (Kevin, okay, you're right, cargo shorts are over but I need them for when I visit the South so I don't get hate crime'd!). Then at dinner my sister is like, "Ugh, those plaid shorts you were wearing the other day with that striped shirt. Awful." I looked at her and said, "Mixing patterns is in, don't you know?!" It's true, I read it in the news somewhere. Who is she to tell me that I can't mix patterns!?! As she sits there with her purple feather earrings. Pshaw! So here is a message to the South: It is okay to wear clothes that fit, it is NOT okay to wear cargo shorts, and if done tastefully mixing patterns is FINE! I will wear my Northern clothes with pride and family, stop harassing me about my clothing choices.