The Comfy Corner

3am on 8th Avenue in Hell's Kitchen. My good friend Tony let out a long sigh. "New York City..." he remarked as we were strolling to the nearest gay club in our tight pants and leather jackets, our heads buzzing from the poor choices we had already made that evening. I nodded my head in approval and started laughing uncontrollably. There comes a point in every New Yorker's time here when they realize that they can simply sum up all of their NYC experiences with a sigh and a "New York City." I have realized that the things that I rave and complain about on a daily basis are essentially always the same. And so, I find, it is easiest to just sum it all up with a sigh or a sassy lip smack or an eye roll or a "New York City." It's a real time saver. No need to waste breath on things that everyone is already well aware of and on board with. One of my biggest eye roll moments happened a few weeks ago.

I was in a "getting things done" kind of mood. Sun glasses on. Mariah Carey in my earbuds. There was pep in every step. I was walking on air! I decided that I should take advantage of this momentum by finding a nearby coffee shop and getting some work done. I had my computer and a good attitude so the possibilities were endless. I found a local, organic coffee shop (take THAT, Starbucks) and, to my delight, they served a very bougie, very delicious pour over coffee. I am a bit of a coffee snob, so the fact that they had Guatemalan pour over coffee really turned me on. I got my cup of coffee, found a quiet corner in the back of the cafe by the window, pulled out my laptop, and before I could open up a Word document and take that first, heavenly sip of my coffee, a gentleman from the counter rushes over to me and says, "I'm sorry sir. We don't allow laptops here. It's kind of our thing. We want people to be more human here." To which I shut my laptop and responded with the biggest eye roll I have ever given in my life. What is more human than using a laptop?! How much more ridiculous can this city get??? This "rule" that this coffee shop decided to have quickly jumped to the top of my list of "things that make me roll my eyes." It even beat the time that I saw a dog wearing tennis shoes in the Upper West Side and his owner looked at me and snarkily said, "These paws haven't touch pavement in seven years." Congrats, sir. Ugh, I was in a perfectly good mood and this coffee shop ruined it all. I think now is a good place to mention that the name of the cafe was, "Cafe Grumpy." Aptly named, right?

To top it all, after the shutting of my laptop and the eye roll, the man sitting beside me leaned over shaking his head and said, "New York City..." He knew. We all know. Stay comfy y'all.

In this time of giving thanks and recognizing what we are grateful for, I thought it might be nice to give NYC a little pat on the back and thank it for all that it does for me on a daily basis. It's a big apple, and I've taken many bites of that apple, and though it has left me with a constant, mild case of diarrhea, I'm still grateful to be living here. So here's lookin' at you New York! Here's what I'm thankful for:

1) The ease with which I am able to do my laundry. I only need to block off a day to do it! #LoadsOfTimeLoadsOfLaundry #ThanksYouThankYou

2) Getting my packages has never been simpler! Sometimes, I actually receive the package! #PutThatThankYouInACardAndSendIt

3) The overwhelming presence of late night trains. Getting home drunk from the clubs? Easy! It's a simple Blip-blop-2-hours-later-Im-there! #SoSoSoBlessed

4) The decreasing rent. Thanks for keep an eye on our wallets, NYC! I owe ya a $9 Budweiser #WinkyFaceTongueOutGrateful #TakingThatThanksToTheBanks

5) Parking is a breeze. And no one works harder for this city than the meter maids! #ThoroughAndSoThankfulForIT

6) Icy winds that actually are powerful enough to blow tears out of my eyes and cold enough for those tears to freeze on my cheeks #FrozenTearsIsMyNewAutobiography #WinkWinkNudgeNudgeMotherNature

7) The high number of Baby Bjorn strollers in TriBeCa. Whew! I was worried I might have to look at those trashy Graco's the rest of my life. Thanks for keeping our babies bougie NYC! #GratefulForBougieBabies

8) The phrase, "This train is being held at this station by the dispatcher. We should be moving shortly." Which is always followed by #SeventeenLipSmacks #ThankfulForNYCAttitude

9) Every party that is ever thrown in Brooklyn. Wow, Brooklyn is fun! And getting there has never been easier! Just a quick A>F>Construction-on-the-L>G and I'm there! #ThatWasEasy #BlessedButNotObsessed

10) Mariachi bands on the trains #SpeechlesslyThankful

Stay comfy y'all and have #Blessed #Thankful #Grateful #PraiseHimForHeHasGivenUsARoofOverOurHeads kind of weekend!

I've been gettin' a real kick lately at the number of people who have all sorts of quality advice about my career. What I've discovered is that everyone is apparently an expert in every field! I didn't know that until recently, but dang, what a discovery! For instance, I was talking to a gentleman recently who once took an acting class. He informed me that what I need to do is go see shows that have roles in them that I could potentially play. This was a real breakthrough for me. He suggested I go see Jersey Boys because... that show has guys in it! And then he had a light bulb moment which was quite exciting for both of us. He said, "Have you considered being in Book of Mormon?" That hadn't crossed my mind! But now I think I'll go sign up to be in it. Cause, gollygee, it sure sounds like an awful lot of fun.

My favorite, however, is the people who come up to my room mate and me and say things like, "You know what you should do? You should get an agent!" or "Have you considered looking into getting an agent?" This is just solid advice. I'll run on down to the agent store and find one I like!

Lastly, I was really inspired by whoever wrote the recent Backstage article about auditioning holding rooms. She warned me that when I get to an audition there could be "ten other people waiting to audition." She also let me know that if the day is really busy I might have to wait "up to an hour." Garsh, that sounds like a tough situation! Thanks for the warning.

Stay comfy y'all.

Saw this in a gas station and I've officially decided that people are just all idiots. What is the purpose of these quotation marks?!? Are you using the quotes for emphasis?! THAT'S NOT WHAT QUOTES ARE FOR!! This is the sad state of our country.

In my unceasing pursuit of the comfiest corner in the world, I have, much to my dismay, found myself in the unsettling arms of the Super 8 motel chain. As I pass through the hideously carpeted hallways that wreak of prostitution and bad decisions I begin to fully realize how spoiled I've been. Growing up, I was accustomed to vacationing in the laps of luxury in such hotels as the Hampton Inn, the Holiday Inn and the Double Tree. There, I was greeted with a smile and a warm cookie. The sunshine-bathed rooms were only magnified in there grandioseness by the crisp, clean air coming out of the AC and the "heavenly beds" that were made to perfection with loving, foreign hands. However, now that I am footing the bills, I have discovered that such luxuries come with a price tag a bit beyond my budget. So, as the classically truthful adage goes, you get what you pay for. I have been kicked out of luxurious Downton and banished to the filthy stables.

I'm currently blogging from a Super 8 in Wapakeneta, Ohio. Or as my boyfriend misheard me, "Wombat-kinetic-energy, Ohio." The dim, dusky room is furnished in what I can only guess to be resold funeral parlor furniture. The absence of a fitted sheet on my bed is all too unnerving. The mysterious brown stain creeping along the edge of the box spring is only highlighting the lack of a bed skirt. The hilariously identical, old pictures of flowers hanging above each bed does little to add anything remotely cheery to the room. In fact, they only serve to show how thoughtless and tasteless the decor is. And yet, I must sadly and honestly admit that this is one of the nicest Super 8's we have been to yet!

The last Super 8 I was in, I had the great fortune of crawling into a bed that was already occupied - with bed bugs. A first experience for me that I wish to never repeat. After a room change, a hotel change (thank you Comfort Inn across the street), a couple sleepless nights, and a thorough inspection of everything I own, I have recovered from that experience and I now meticulously examine my beds before I crawl into them. The first Super 8 we stayed in was fortunate enough to have mold in the shower that didn't actually work and a faulty toilet. The Russian mechanic that came to "fix" the shower abruptly said to me, "You must lift up for water!" And left. So, what knowledge have I wrought from these experiences? That a comfy corner is not always so easy to come by. The things that keep me sane are my Yankee candle I carry to every room I stay in, the blanket that my mom gave me, and Netflix. So wherever you are in the world, I hope you are finding your corners a little comfier than the one I'm in currently. And I hope you're grateful for it. And Super 8? I super hate you. So get it together.

Stay comfy ya'll.

My friend Laura recently joined the peace corps. Before she left for her two year expedition she mentioned to me that she would not have running water in her African village. I checked in with her the other day on the water situation and she said that in the winter she catches rain water and in the summer she hires a village child to fetch the water for her. Both, she says, are "really lazy ways of obtaining water." So now, as I draw my nightly bath (with a simple flick of my wrist), throw in my bath bomb, and light my vanilla-scented tea lights, I begin to think about the things I often complain about - out loud. My #firstworldproblems. Here are a few.

1) "Siri never understands me! Now I have to manually check the weather forecast!"

2) "Why do we even have top sheets? No one really needs them, they just end up at the foot of the bed."

3) "My DVR is so finicky. It randomly decides what it wants to record."

4) "We ordered that pizza like 45 minutes ago. I'm gonna rip them apart on Yelp."

5) "Netflix is being so slow today, what is wrong?"

6) "Our water is too hot! And if you move the nob like a millimeter it goes immediately to icy cold."

7) "Ugh, I can't find my Starbucks gift cards!"

8) "The fresh linen scent is too harsh for me. I much prefer apple spice and delight." Sidenote: I threw away the can of fresh linen. It wasn't empty.

9) "Is it just me or is our Keurig brewing really weak coffee?"

10) "Ugh, I hate when steak is served with a sweet demi-glace. I much prefer it savory."

Moral of the story? We should all probably enjoy our comfy corners a little more and complain a little less. After all, you could be in an African village with no running water - like Laura. Stay comfy ya'll!

I recently worked a temp job and this old security guard I was working with asked me what I did for a living. When I told him I was an actor he said, "Oh, okay. Lemme ask you something. Approximately when do most people like you decide to give up on your dream?" I don't get upset very often but this question really upset me. Who did he think he was?!? So I said to him, "Who are you to just come up to me and ask me when I'm gonna give up on my dreams? You don't even know me! You don't know what I can do, what my dreams even are!" I was riled up and rightfully so. How can he judge my profession when he has no idea what it even entails? And then he went on to explain that real success was "someone like Clint Eastwood. Someone who also gets behind the camera. That's when you know you're successful." This is when I stopped listening to him. Clearly his definition of success was different from mine.

I've been thinking a lot about this ever since and I've decided that no one else can determine what success is for someone else. When I told my mom I was joining AFTRA (the union for TV actors) she said, "Oh, one day you'll be on the cover of People magazine!" That, to her, would be real success. So, there ya go. When it comes to acting there is no definition of success. Is Meryl Streep more successful than Taylor Lautner? I would instinctually say yes, but in reality there is no comparison because they have to determine their own ideas of success. So what is success to me? I suppose it's just to do what I love. If I'm doing that, then I think I'm pretty successful. But then again, maybe success is simply just sitting here on my couch with cookies, Ina Garten, and the comfiest corner. After all, I'm doing what I love!

Stay comfy ya'll!

Tis the season for holiday parties! They are large gatherings of random groups of people brought together for the sole purpose of eating lots of sugar, drinking lots of alcohol, and wearing sweaters. The connecting theme between all of the parties that I have been to this season? There seems to always be one person at the party that no one likes. It isn't the kind of thing that you're forewarned about either. It starts off so innocently, "Oh Clark's girlfriend is coming too. It'll be fun." And then you get to the party and realize very quickly that Clark's girlfriend is a constant-talker-no-listener and no one really likes her (except Clark, and he's cool, so everyone is also like, "Clark could do much better"). And you are condemned to hours of Clark's girlfriend and forget to actually enjoy the party. Finally, Clark and his girlfriend leave (or worse, Clark's girlfriend gets too drunk and winds up on the floor passed out) and there is a breath of silence before someone quietly pipes up with something like, "Clark's girlfriend is... animated."

All we want from a holiday party is a little Christmas cheer, some good friends, and perhaps a comfy corner by the fire, right? So why must we be subjected to these holiday Grinches that make everything uncomfy?! It should be a universal law that at holiday parties everyone must put aside their bad habits and poor social skills and pretend to be a human for the sake of the people that want to enjoy the festivities. So to all of the "Clark's girlfriend"s out there I have this to say; don't get so drunk you pass out on the rug, don't sleep on the couch while everyone else helps with the dishes, don't just talk constantly about yourself and your achievements, and don't make people uncomfortable by prying into the intimate details of their personal lives ("So like, how's the sex in your relationship these days.") Not cool.

Happy holidays, ya'll! Stay the comfiest this season.

Everyone goes through a very similar series of conversations when they get to know someone new. Where are you from? Where did you go to school? What did you study? Where do you work now? But I, being so wonderfully typed into the middle ground of races, am cursed with being ethnically ambiguous. So every time I meet a new person, conversation inevitably leads to a conversation about how I am half Chinese. It amazes me how worked up people get about it. They gasp and flare their eyes in astonishment. "YOU'RE CHINESE?!?" I am sometimes taken aback as though they are offended or something. But then their eyes narrow (as they try to see a hint of squintiness in my eyes) and they say, "You don't look that Asian. I knew you were something, but not Asian." Then the whole room (everyone loves to discuss this topic) looks me up and down as I sit there judged and ethnically abused while they decide whether or not I look my race. They usually finish it off with an offhand compliment like, "Asian and white is such a beautiful mix. I want Asian babies." So I'm left confused and trying to decide whether or not to be offended or thankful or afraid they might take advantage of me.

Yesterday, however, I was not confused. I was just offended. I was an extra on this TV show and I was walking past this other extra girl who, for my own purposes, I will call a bitch. As I walked past she was saying, "Asians just aren't..." She paused and looked around to make sure no Asians were lurking in corners. She looked right into my eyes!!! And then she continued, "They just aren't attractive. The boys aren't cute and the girls aren't pretty. It's their pushed in noses and their slanty eyes." She demonstrated by pushing in her own stupid nose. "And they never have very good muscle tone." I wanted to push her nose in WITH MY FIST! But, I took the high road. A few minutes later I was with her in a group of extras and someone complimented my skin tone. I said, "Thanks, it must be THE ASIAN IN ME!" And I looked right into here eyes and glared. She looked confused. I hope she got the memo. She probably didn't though, the dumb bitch.

Moral of the story is twofold. One, yes I am Chinese, don't be shocked. Two, you never know if someone around you is a mixed breed. So don't talk smack. Stay comfy ya'll.

Have I posted this before? Does it have the exact same title and is about the exact same subject? Probably, but it deserves a reposting because people who go out to eat at restaurants are oftentimes absolute morons. A guy this evening walks in, sits down, and does not open his menu. Assuming he has been here before and already knows what he wants I approach him to take his order. He looks at me directly and says, "I want a steak."

"I'm sorry, sir, we don't have steak."

*baffled expression of disbelief*

"You don't have steak???"

"No sir. We have steak tacos..."

"No, that's not what I want. I want steak." He puts his hands in the shape of a steak to inform me of what a steak looks like.

"We don't have steak."

"Well, what DO you have??"

I took what little patience I had left, balled it up in a big ball, reached down, opened his menu gently and said as if talking to a small child, "We have the items that are here in our menu." More baffled expressions from him. "Mostly pizzas, pastas, and salads."

"Oh, well I'll have to go somewhere else, then."

Have a great day sir, go die, and learn how to read a menu. Bye.

1) I only buy magazines with shirtless men on the cover - I read something about magazine editors putting shirtless men on covers to sell more copies and I thought, "That's silly, who is that easily swayed?" But then I realized, I am. Whoopsies.

2) I hate when people dance and sing to themselves on the subway... but I do it too - I was watching this guy just jamming to his iPod on the subway and I thought, "How silly, sir! No one else can hear the music you are listening to!" But then I caught myself doing the same thing a day later. Sometimes you just gotta dance.

3) I hate the phrase, "We're a really crazy bunch here" - When people say this about their work environment I metaphorically roll my eyes because crazy groups of people don't talk about how crazy and cool they are... they're just crazy and cool without talking about it. If you have to talk about it, chances are, you're a pretty normal bunch. Not to mention, I don't like the word, "bunch."

4) To me, acting is living, but to others, acting is just facial expressions - I realized that when people don't know a lot about theatre or acting and they are trying to compliment your performance they'll say things like, "You have a really expressive face" or "You make the best expressions."

5) No matter what city you're in, small Asian women will push you to the ground before letting you get on the subway before them - these small Asian women are a crazy bunch (and they don't talk about it).

Like the naive middle-class, half-Asian boy that I was, I grew up thinking that I lived in the trashiest town in the world. I thought that downtown Asheville was a bunch of dirty hippies that never washed their hair. In fact, I covered my food for fear of bugs jumping off their dreadlocks and onto my plate. I thought that Fairview (the smaller, less glamorous town where my house is) contained the most amount of rednecks per square mile than any other town in the world. And I thought, stupidly, that if I moved to the North, I would forever escape stupidity and poor driving. This weekend, it finally dawned on me how wrong I actually was.

I visited a little town called Beckley in a little state called West Virginia. It is important to note that I went to Beckley to escape the small town of White Sulphur Springs. Kevin and I needed to go to a movie theatre that showed more than one movie a week and Beckley was the closest metropolis. When we arrived, I was thrilled to spot a Chili's. Chili's and Chic-Fil-A are quite possibly my two favorite places in the world. When we walked in, however, I quickly realized that we were not going to blend in well. The eyes of West Virginian judgement stared right through my fitted blue H&M polo with white piping and right into my soul. The look in their eyes read, "Ya'll ain't from around these parts, are ya?" I felt a slight shudder of discomfort but I couldn't quite find the words to describe it. When we went to the movie theatre, though, I gazed at the poorly fitted pants draped around too-big waists. I gazed at greasy hair tied up in greasy pony tails. I gazed at all the "Tapout" shirts and zip-up hoodies wrapped around women with pores big enough to fry chicken in and I found the words that had previously slipped my mind: white trash. Kevin turned to me and said, "Can we go back to the car?" I nodded quickly because we weren't from around these parts.

When I drove back into the beautiful mountains of North Carolina, I realized that Asheville wasn't so bad after all. People here are sensible and dress decently. There is a manageable amount of Tapout clothing and most people bathe. For the first time in a long time, I felt at home in my home. And I realized that the North isn't so glamorous as I once thought. There are a lot of stupid people there too, they just have different accents. So next time I visit home, I will make sure to leave my judgement shoes at the door.

I think we've all had those moments where we make a new friend (or a new boyfriend/girlfriend) and the time comes when you must attempt to integrate this new friend into your old circle of friends. It's kind of a dreadful place to be. Awkward hugs/handshakes, so nice to meet you's, heard so much about you's, etc. etc. ad nauseum (First time I've used that phrase, ad nauseum! Hope I used it correctly!). Well, I don't know about you, but every time I have to introduce a new friend I get really anxious inside hoping and praying that they won't be Mr/Mrs. Bottom-of-the-bitter-barrel and scare away my friends. You know the type. The kind of person that just kind of looks bored and stares off into the distance when they meet new people. And inside you're like, "Come on! At least PRETEND to be excited to meet these people! This is important!" And they are all like, "Why should I pretend to be something I'm not?" And you're like, "Because that's just what you have to do sometimes to make a good first impression!" After all, who doesn't want all of their friends to get along, right? So if you happen to be this friend follow these simple rules:

1) Smile! A smile goes a long way.

2) Talk! Silence makes people uncomfortable. And I know it is difficult for some people to jump on board the empty conversation train, but it is a valuable skill!

3) Listen! Don't zone out and act like you'd rather be anywhere else in the world.

4) Laugh! A sense of humor is a valued quality in a new friend, so at least give a chuckle if something is funny.

5) Be slightly conservative... meaning don't lead with your strong personality traits. You need to feel out these new friends before you go all out. For instance, if you have a knack for dirty jokes. Maybe wait until they know your name and where you are from before you whip out the big guns.

Just a few comfy tips for meeting new people. Slash a bitching rant on how not to act if I introduce you to my friends. :)

Stay comfy ya'll!