The Comfy Corner

Last weekend I returned to nature. Now, when I say I returned to nature, I'm afraid you might be  imagining me going for a light day hike in Long Island... uh, you would be wrong. You would be very wrong!!! I returned to nature, y'all. To be specific, I returned to 22 miles of nature through the Lye Brook Wilderness of Vermont. Allow me to paint a picture of just how much nature was in this nature. On the trail, there was a sign that said, "This trail is designed for the truly adventurous hiker. The kind of person seeking a real challenge. It is minimally maintained and there are few, if any, bridges. Good luck!" This was not a sign that was lying. This was a sign that was telling the truth. There were downed trees everywhere. EVEN THE TREES COULDN'T HACK IT! AND THEY'RE TREES! In fact, it was worse than the sign had suggested, because after we crossed the river (via a beaver dam because "few, if any, bridges") we realized that a recent hurricane had completely flooded out our trail (if you could even really call it a trail). So we were forced to venture off trail and brave the actual wilderness. Perhaps you've heard of the term "bush whacking"? Yeah, that's what we were doing. This wasn't Vermont, y'all. This was the straight up Amazonian rainforest. These woods were overgrown like I've never seen. And I was wearing shorts (Yes, they were cargo shorts, I'm guilty okay, but I needed all the pockets I could get)! In any event, these were not shorts conditions! I might as well have been in a mini skirt, because my legs were slowly being destroyed by mother nature. I was dealing with the mud, the flooding, cuts on my legs, the mosquitoes (dear God, the mosquitoes), the walking through spiderwebs, the snakes, and just when I was getting used to all of that, we realized that we were completely lost. And just as we began to pore over our map, that's about when it started to POUR rain. Which is shortly before the time that I checked my phone only to realize that we were in the midst of a severe thunderstorm warning and we were being told to seek shelter immediately (the warning included a list of the dangers of being outside and the risks of lightning strikes). As the rain leaked through my muddy poncho and my hands clutched a soaked, useless map, I suddenly realized that I had developed something that I haven't had in a long time - perspective.

RuPaul once said something in a podcast that has really stuck with me. He said that you have to "Google Earth your life." When I was on that trail, lost, in the rain, on the cusp of potential death by lightning strike, I literally pulled out my phone and Google Earthed my life and it all made sense! I said, "Oh! That's where that lake is, I need to go this way!" (Thank God for iPhones and Verizon signal in the wilderness) And now that I am back in the comfort of my home, sitting with my Mac, a Bulleit manhattan in hand, I have realized that I need to have that kind of perspective in my daily life! Any time I am feeling nervous, lost, scared, confused I can always "Google Earth" the situation. Two fingers. Zoom out. Boom. Everything makes sense again. It's all perspective, y'all! No matter how shitty a situation is, you can always change it simply by changing your perspective on it. By looking at the bigger picture. The macrocosm, not the microcosm. As RuPaul expounds, "The call is coming from inside the house!" It's all you, y'all! Joy emanates from within. And you gotta take that journey yourself. You can't rely on anyone else to upload that Google Earth app for you! If you can't learn to love yourself, how the hell you gonna love anybody else? Can I get an amen? You gotta download that app and sign in! And once you've got it all loaded up, just zoom out y'all. And then you'll be like, "Oh! That's it? That's what I'm dealing with? I got this."

Also, I should mention, when you're in the wilderness, the things you take for granted in life suddenly become luxuries (toilets, lights, stoves, air conditioning, chairs) and you have no choice but to develop some perspective. So comfy cornerers, if you're feeling a little lost in your life, I recommend literally taking a hike, and then just do a Google Earth. It really, really helps. Stay comfy y'all.

In this season of juice cleanses, 20 day yoga challenges and ginger/cayenne/lemon juice shots, I thought it would be apropos to go against the grain and start a 16 Bourbon challenge. A challenge where I try 16 different bourbons in 20 days. Kind of the opposite of a cleanse, I know, but it fits right in line with one of my biggest goals right now: to become a more of a man. I've been thinking a lot recently about what makes a man a man. And I've decided that somewhere amongst my glasses of pinot grigio and vanilla bean scented candles, I have lost touch with my manhood. So in an effort to reclaim my manhood for good, I have compiled a comprehensive list of what I have decided makes a man a man. Feel free to print this out and hand it to your boyfriend or your pocket gay or whoever.

1) A man has a favorite Bourbon (or he'll just order something on tap if he's new to the bar)
2) A man doesn't drink sauvignon blanc
3) A man always carries some cash
4) A man is good with children
5) A man has a sense of style
6) A man fixes things
7) A man is good at his job (and doesn't complain)
8) A man owns up to his mistakes
9) A man is not afraid of his sexuality and is not apologetic about his sexual desires
10) A man does the dishes but doesn't point out that he did them
11) A man gets the door without thinking
12) A man has a tool set and knows how to use it
13) A man gives up his seat on the subway to moms, children, and old people
14) A man listens and carefully crafts his opinions
15) A man loves to be alone
16) A man takes control and takes care of things
17) A man doesn't hide under the covers, he gets out of bed and checks out the situation with a baseball bat or something
18) A man has a good sense of direction
19) A man is not a know it all, he keeps his mouth shut on topics he is not knowledgable about
20) A man maintains an air of mystery about him. He watches, he observes, you never quite know what a man is thinking.

There ya go. This is what I'm working on. So if you see me skipping down the street and giggling like Spongebob, please stop me and remind me that I'm trying to collect man points. Okay? Thanks. Stay comfy y'all.

3am on 8th Avenue in Hell's Kitchen. My good friend Tony let out a long sigh. "New York City..." he remarked as we were strolling to the nearest gay club in our tight pants and leather jackets, our heads buzzing from the poor choices we had already made that evening. I nodded my head in approval and started laughing uncontrollably. There comes a point in every New Yorker's time here when they realize that they can simply sum up all of their NYC experiences with a sigh and a "New York City." I have realized that the things that I rave and complain about on a daily basis are essentially always the same. And so, I find, it is easiest to just sum it all up with a sigh or a sassy lip smack or an eye roll or a "New York City." It's a real time saver. No need to waste breath on things that everyone is already well aware of and on board with. One of my biggest eye roll moments happened a few weeks ago.

I was in a "getting things done" kind of mood. Sun glasses on. Mariah Carey in my earbuds. There was pep in every step. I was walking on air! I decided that I should take advantage of this momentum by finding a nearby coffee shop and getting some work done. I had my computer and a good attitude so the possibilities were endless. I found a local, organic coffee shop (take THAT, Starbucks) and, to my delight, they served a very bougie, very delicious pour over coffee. I am a bit of a coffee snob, so the fact that they had Guatemalan pour over coffee really turned me on. I got my cup of coffee, found a quiet corner in the back of the cafe by the window, pulled out my laptop, and before I could open up a Word document and take that first, heavenly sip of my coffee, a gentleman from the counter rushes over to me and says, "I'm sorry sir. We don't allow laptops here. It's kind of our thing. We want people to be more human here." To which I shut my laptop and responded with the biggest eye roll I have ever given in my life. What is more human than using a laptop?! How much more ridiculous can this city get??? This "rule" that this coffee shop decided to have quickly jumped to the top of my list of "things that make me roll my eyes." It even beat the time that I saw a dog wearing tennis shoes in the Upper West Side and his owner looked at me and snarkily said, "These paws haven't touch pavement in seven years." Congrats, sir. Ugh, I was in a perfectly good mood and this coffee shop ruined it all. I think now is a good place to mention that the name of the cafe was, "Cafe Grumpy." Aptly named, right?

To top it all, after the shutting of my laptop and the eye roll, the man sitting beside me leaned over shaking his head and said, "New York City..." He knew. We all know. Stay comfy y'all.

When I think about all of the incredibly talented artists that we have lost to drugs and alcohol, I get super emotional. I mean, let's be honest here, I can get emotional over a sad-looking telephone pole. I'm an emotional person. Deal with it, y'all! But I'm talking about Philip Seymour Hoffman, Heath Ledger, Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Chris Farley to name but a few. All were incredible artists that had incredibly successful careers and left us too soon because they had very troubled personal lives. There is life and there is career. When we see someone up on the big screen that has had an incredible career, we imagine that their personal lives must be so glamorous and easy. But the truth is, they have to do their dishes and clean out their cabinets and drawers just like the rest of us. They aren't super humans! In fact, I'd like to theorize regular people are much more adept at living than famous people are. I have a theory that most famous people don't know how to live their regular lives off camera because they have devoted all of their time to their career and very little time to figuring out who they are. Regular people spend all of their time working on themselves. Regular people work on their relationships and spend time with their families and go to therapy and take care of themselves. Many famous people have cut out their families and their friends and have laser focused all of their attention on their careers and in that process have forgotten that they also need to have a life! And for what? For the spotlight? What good is the spotlight if you don't have a life to go home to when the spotlight is off?

It is a delicate balance between life and career. Julianne Moore, I believe, has figured out that balance. (I've ran into her several times in the city with her family and I've seen her on Ellen, so that means I know everything about her) Ellen asked her about what her biggest struggle is and she said, "It's trying to get my kids to hang up their wet towels. I'm sicking of cleaning towels!" She's focused on her life, but she also has an incredible career, because she has put in a ton of effort into herself. She has a family that she cares about, she has a home that she takes care of, she has earned her life and a career has followed her steadily through it all. Same goes for Meryl Streep and Daniel Day Lewis to name a couple more. They've worked diligently at their careers and their lives. They know how to set a balance. They know when they have to take a break. And that is the point I'd like to make. You are valuable not only because you're beautiful or you're talented or you're constantly working, you are most valuable because you are here. You are alive. You are on this planet. And it isn't about "making it" in whatever business you are a part of, it is about becoming yourself. Earning yourself and constantly striving for happiness. And that means taking care of yourself. Going to therapy. Dealing with the things that are preventing you from becoming 100% you. It is a full time job really, but you must do that first. And then your career will be so much easier and so much more fulfilling and enjoyable. And you'll live long enough to make a real impression. If Lady Gaga doesn't release an album for a couple years because she has to take care of herself, excellent! I much prefer her healthy and alive because I love everything she does. A career is meaningless if you have no one and no reason to live for it. Many folks throw themselves into their careers because it fills some hole in their lives. It is makes them feel better to be doing what they love. But what happens when you aren't doing what you love. When you are just at home being you. That time is just as valuable if not more valuable. You are never going to be able to fill the hole with your career.

You need two things in this life. You need a self and you need to be excellent at what you do. You have to be lucky to get old. It isn't given to you, it is worked at. So work at it. Live a life. Nurture your relationships organically. This business isn't about being pretty or talented (although it may seem that way). It's about working diligently at something you love and taking care of yourself along the way. So I urge you all to do this. And most importantly, stay comfy y'all.

I had a real flair for the dramatic growing up. As did, I suppose, most people who grew up to become actors. But, I believe, everyone kind of has a flair for the dramatic when they're young, right? I mean, just listen to the cacophony of children on the subway every afternoon screaming for their "passy" or their "baba" or whatever. Or, God-help-me, listen to those kids at brunch on the weekends in Tribeca. "I SAID I WANT OYSTEEEERRRS!!!" I swear, that whole neighborhood becomes one giant, bougie Gymboree on the weekends. Thankfully, most people grow up and learn how to tame that dramatic beast inside themselves and only release the drama-beast when they are drunk or heavily medicated after surgery. Actors, on the other hand, have the unique ability to be dramatic about things while completely sober and sans-incision (but that clearly doesn't stop us from going under the knife or drinking alcohol Lindsay Lohan). In any event, the message I'm trying to convey here, perhaps unsuccessfully, is that it is perfectly healthy to be dramatic sometimes while you're sober. Just get it out of your system, y'all! Drama is a dish best served piping hot. So go for it! Do what I did the first time I got a charley horse.

I was seven. I had just cozied into the top bunk of my bed. My mother had tucked me in burrito-style, like I prefer, and turned out the lights. I had waited the standard couple of seconds before I turned around to pull out my secret stash of toy cars from under my pillow (I liked to play cars even after I had already been tucked in. Rebel Chang) and that's when it happened. Searing pain shot through both of my legs. It was like the devil himself had reached his red, hot hands through my skin, grabbed hold of both of my calf muscles, and started slowing ripping them apart, cackling all the while. I screamed out in pain and horror as I fell out of my bed. I rolled around for a bit clutching my shins, hot tears streaming down my face. My life was flashing before my eyes, all seven years of it. No more pushing sticks down the creek, no more riding my bike around the cul-de-sac in tight circles, no more slip n' slides! In the words of the Backstreet Boys, it hit me harder than a shark attack! My mind was exploding with pain, I knew nothing except that I needed to seek immediate medical attention. I made use of my only two working limbs and I army-crawled out of my room. Every pull of my arms caused an equal jolt of pain through my legs. It was torture, but I knew that I needed to see my Dr. Dad right now because I knew these legs needed immediate amputation! That was the only solution for this brand of pain, I knew it. So I crawled down the stairs crying out for the whole neighborhood to hear, "I'LL NEVER WALK AGAIN!!! I'LL *sniff* NEVER *sniff* WALK *cough* AGAIIINNNN!!!" I pulled myself into the living room with the last bit of strength my arms had left in them. It was like the final scene of Lord of the Rings when Frodo has to make that final push to get the ring into the volcano. And there sat my family, all staring at me drop-jawed. I saw their blurry outlines through my tears and I reiterated "I CAN'T WALK! I'LL NEVER WALK AGAIN!" They didn't seem to understand me! Why weren't they rushing me off to the hospital or bursting into tears? Their baby boy was dying!  Perhaps, I conjectured, they were all born without emotions! This is when the worst thing that could have possibly happened, happened. They all started laughing. A look of confusion spread across my snotty, tear-stained, seven-year-old face. They were salting the wound. The louder they laughed, the more my legs hurt. Didn't they know that?

My dad eventually calmed me down and explained to me what a charley horse was and that I just had to stretch it out for a bit. I got better. No amputation necessary. And now, my family just loves to tell this story at the dinner table. Okay, was I being a bit dramatic? Yes. But isn't that how we ALL feel when we get charlie horses?! Like we'll never walk again? I was just responding to my pain honestly! And I feel like people don't do that often enough. We stifle our response to pain because we are afraid that we might come across as what? Weak? Well, I have no fear of seeming weak. I freely admit that I am a delicate flower. When a doctor asks, "On a scale of 1 to 10 how is your pain?" I say, "11! FIX ME!!!" I'm that guy that says "ouch ouch ouch!" before people even touch me or if someone maybe came close to stepping on my toe. Because I don't wanna hold it in. I want to feel. And to feel is to experience, y'all. So go ahead. Throw your temper tantrums. Whine about your petty problems. Get it out of your system so that you have a clear head to actually deal with things like an adult. And also so that you don't become a drug addict or something. It's healthy to feel emotions, I promise. Stay comfy y'all.

In this time of giving thanks and recognizing what we are grateful for, I thought it might be nice to give NYC a little pat on the back and thank it for all that it does for me on a daily basis. It's a big apple, and I've taken many bites of that apple, and though it has left me with a constant, mild case of diarrhea, I'm still grateful to be living here. So here's lookin' at you New York! Here's what I'm thankful for:

1) The ease with which I am able to do my laundry. I only need to block off a day to do it! #LoadsOfTimeLoadsOfLaundry #ThanksYouThankYou

2) Getting my packages has never been simpler! Sometimes, I actually receive the package! #PutThatThankYouInACardAndSendIt

3) The overwhelming presence of late night trains. Getting home drunk from the clubs? Easy! It's a simple Blip-blop-2-hours-later-Im-there! #SoSoSoBlessed

4) The decreasing rent. Thanks for keep an eye on our wallets, NYC! I owe ya a $9 Budweiser #WinkyFaceTongueOutGrateful #TakingThatThanksToTheBanks

5) Parking is a breeze. And no one works harder for this city than the meter maids! #ThoroughAndSoThankfulForIT

6) Icy winds that actually are powerful enough to blow tears out of my eyes and cold enough for those tears to freeze on my cheeks #FrozenTearsIsMyNewAutobiography #WinkWinkNudgeNudgeMotherNature

7) The high number of Baby Bjorn strollers in TriBeCa. Whew! I was worried I might have to look at those trashy Graco's the rest of my life. Thanks for keeping our babies bougie NYC! #GratefulForBougieBabies

8) The phrase, "This train is being held at this station by the dispatcher. We should be moving shortly." Which is always followed by #SeventeenLipSmacks #ThankfulForNYCAttitude

9) Every party that is ever thrown in Brooklyn. Wow, Brooklyn is fun! And getting there has never been easier! Just a quick A>F>Construction-on-the-L>G and I'm there! #ThatWasEasy #BlessedButNotObsessed

10) Mariachi bands on the trains #SpeechlesslyThankful

Stay comfy y'all and have #Blessed #Thankful #Grateful #PraiseHimForHeHasGivenUsARoofOverOurHeads kind of weekend!

Everyone says that the first year out of college is the toughest. There are still traces of cheap beer and poor choices flowing through your veins and you are caught in a post-collegiate whirlwind of life decisions and experiences and it is tough to know where to cast the proverbial net. But for me, that wasn't necessarily true. I got a fun, degree-related job right out of college, I went straight into a meaningful relationship, I was doing what I love with people I loved, I was WALKING ON AIR! But then, earlier this year, everything made a giant shift. My relationship ended, my enthusiasm for my work started to deteriorate, the world around me that once felt so small, manageable, and neat started to grow bigger and more daunting and more unorganized. It happens to everyone and it had finally happened to me; I was hit with a major case of the twentysomethings.

I'm not proud to admit it, but I spent two weeks in June paying for my meals with quarters that I had found in my room (thank Gods for dollar pizza) and literally surviving off of the food my restaurant job was giving me. It was a bleak time, sure, but I felt too proud, too determined to ask my family or friends for help. I knew that I could push through it. I felt in my heart that this was a struggle I needed to go through in order to really bring myself up. I thought, "You can't rise to the top if you don't know where the bottom is. " And I had found bottom. I may or may not have spent an entire evening by myself (under the influence of some recreational anesthesia) watching wedding proposal videos and sobbing uncontrollably. Bottom. So what I did was I picked myself up by my bootstraps and labeled this past summer the #SummerofChang. My job started paying me more money so I started eating real food again. I explored every beach within reach of NYC. I painted my living room walls and bought new pants. I booked a show in Maine and went there for a month and made some amazing friends. I was, for the first time in my adult life, figuring out who I was, by myself, for myself.

It feels weird to admit that you don't know who you are. But I did that. I admitted that I wasn't sure who I was or what I wanted. And that is what your twenties seem to be all about, right? Uncertainty. I am certainly certain that everyone has felt uncertain about their lives in their twenties.  And now, though I am in a much better place than I was earlier in the year, I still don't really know where I am going but I feel much more confident in the man that is going there. Wherever "there" is. And I can literally feel the neurons in my brain rearranging themselves to become that of an adult brain. Two days ago I poured out a bottle of champagne because I knew it was cheap and would give me a headache. Two years ago I would have drank the entire bottle no problem. I know now that a Bourgogne wine is from Bergundy, France. And I know that I like wines from that region of France. I know that my favorite Bourbon is Basil Hayden and I like to get my produce from Whole Foods. Brick by brick I am putting myself together. And for all of you twentysomethings reading this, you gotta do it. Dude, I get it, it's a tough decade. It's lonely and confusing but it is also a crucial period of self discovery and you gotta make sure that you end up liking the person that you discover. As Dr. Meg Jay, author of "The Defining Decade" says, "There are no guarantees. So claim your adulthood. Be Intentional. Get to work. Pick your family. Do the math. Make your own certainty. Don't be defined by what you didn't know or didn't do." Stay comfy y'all.

It is fifth grade. A sweaty, overweight, pre-diabetes half-Asian youth is released onto the gravel playground of his elementary school. Beads of sweat immediately form on his upper lip as he shields his eyes from the harsh afternoon sun and gazes upon the game of kickball that the athletic boys are starting up by the jungle gym. Afraid of sweating through his shirt too soon he climbs the jungle gym, finds a comfy place to sit, and begins to commentate the kickball game. "Zach is up for the kick. He's looking anxious. Will he be able to help out his team this time?" He nods his head in satisfaction. Yeah, this is his idea of fun. But eventually he realizes no one is listening to him and he joins his two best friends: Kelly, the super-Christian and Kandace, who often kicks him in the shins for no reason. They draw a definitive circle in the gravel and begin to play their favorite game: push the other person out of the circle. It's like sumo wrestling, with less rules. The half-Asian, because of his weight advantage, usually wins. He would always win, but he loses on purpose to Kandace for fear of being kicked in the shins. Then the whistle is blown and this joyous, carefree hour of recess ends. The half-Asian sulks back into the place of learning with a sweat soaked shirt, a dozen fond memories, and a sadness that the hour of play has ended so abruptly.

You guessed it, that half-Asian was me. And I tell that slightly embarrassing story because I recently ended a month long recess period. Sometimes shows feel like a job, sometimes it's just for the money, and sometimes they feel like that time you were a kid and you were playing in the sandbox with your friends for hours (but it felt like only minutes) and you never wanted to leave and when it came time to say goodbye, you cried. That's what this show was for me. It was sandbox time. I mean, it was just an Andrew Lloyd Webber show, ya know? A lot of fluff, not much content, the gayest thing since Grindr. But every single show, I cried at the end. There was something about this group of people, the place we were in, the ensemble we had,  and my emotional state at the time that just clicked for me. I felt it. I felt it pretty hard. We weren't really changing the world with this production but this production was kind of changing my world. It restored for me that sense of freedom and joy that I got when I was playing "push the other person out of the circle" in fifth grade. And when it came time to say goodbye, it was like hearing that whistle that marks the end of recess. I was sad. But like, a happy sad. "Bittersweet" is usually the word people use. Happy that I had the experience, but sad that it was time to go back to real life.

But there is always a silver lining to returning to real life, right? I mean, as Alfred Pennyworth says to Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins, "Why do we fall master Bruce? So we can learn to get back up." Without real life, we would have nothing to compare sandbox time to, am I right? Thus sandbox time wouldn't be special. So for now, I'm looking fondly back on my month of recess. And I'm looking forward to the next time that bell rings and I get to go back outside and play again. And until that time comes, stay comfy, y'all!

Boojie: "Fancy. Derived from the French word, bourgeoisie, which means middle class. They were never content on being the middle class and strived for the best...the upper FANCY class." (urbandictionary.com). Anyone with eyes and a heartbeat that has spent more than fifteen seconds with me knows that I am a boojie person. My ideal afternoon would be spent on a white couch in the Hamptons in the Barefoot Contessa's garden sipping rosé by the fire, eating hors d'oeuvres and chatting with Oprah and Ina about how dumb Sandra Lee's tablescapes are. Jeffrey would probably show up late with sorbet and flowers. I mean, I'm so boojie, I sleep in all white like I'm Jesus or something - my roommate can attest to that. It's a cleanliness, purity thing I suppose. I love white clothes, get into it. So recently, I was enjoying a lovely Sancerre rosé at the Front Porch (a local piano bar) and I thought to myself, "Self, where is this boojieness coming from? You were raised in the opposite of boojie - the boonie - so where did it come from?" So I took a quick trip through history.

When I was in elementary school, my dad would take me to the fanciest restaurants. He is a doctor and back in the day, pre-Obamacare, doctors were wined and dined with fanciful meals, late night trysts, dancing girls - and they could bring their families. So I went. So I grew up having meals at resorts in Hilton Head and enjoying seafood at the Grove Park Inn in Asheville and the Chateau Elan in Atlanta. I mean, I had a preference for foie gras and escargot by the time I turned twelve. I was a boojie baby. But I had no idea! I mean, you grow up knowing what you know, ya know? So I continued into my teenage years in blissful ignorance and I became obsessed with "The Sims" but I was not content on any of my Sims living in anything less than luxury. I built mansions for them with all the finest things. I was no stranger to "rosebud." Glamorous. We're talking elegant foyers, oak paneled smoking rooms, spa quality backyard oases. And still, I didn't know I was boojie. 

It wasn't until I was seventeen and I watched the James Bond film,"Casino Royale" that I realized I was a boojie person. I wasn't obsessed with the plot or the women or Daniel Craig's body (although, I wasn't complaining, okay? Excuse me, Daniel, walking out of the ocean with that body, shameful). No, it was his tuxedos. It was the money he was spending. It was the cocktails. The cars. It was the hotel rooms. The walk-in shower in his hotel room. The train rides. The yachts. The private dinners. I was obsessed with the boojiness of his lifestyle. I walked out of that theatre feeling like my life was severely sub par. I felt lost, confused, living a pathetic middle class life of Applebee's and Six Flags. And it was in that moment of devastation that I truly discovered who I was: a boojie person. 

And therein lies the problem. I don't have the money I need to support the lifestyle I so desire. So what do I do? I live by the idea that money is meant to be spent. It isn't supposed to just sit there and collect dust (what others might call "interest" - tomato tomato)! So when I acquire money, you better believe I'm on the town buying Tempurpedic pillows and crystal tumblers. I own three tuxedos, I own the softest sheets, and, on occasion, I have fancy dinners. One day, I will come home to a place that is lit with white candles with a fragrance of lavender bath bombs floating in the air. And all the furniture will be shades of vanilla. And all the floors will be heated. My counter tops will be heated, because ain't nobody got time for cold hands. And all the lighting will be on dimmer switches to create the perfect atmosphere for any occasion. Because I believe that even people without money deserve to live in a little bit of luxury. And when that fateful day comes, I will pour myself a white wine spritzer, sit on my white couch and say, "This, my friends, is a comfy corner." Stay comfy y'all.

About a month ago I was lying in my bed. I had just woken up from a lovely night's rest but my eyes were still closed. You know how it is when you are awake, but not quite ready to get out of bed? That was me. And that is when the cheeky little ghost grabbed both of my big toes. The second his little ghost hands touched my toes, every drop of blood in my body turned to ice. I couldn't move a muscle. My whole body had seized up and my eyes were clamped shut. Slowly, every so slowly, he pulled on my big toes lifting my feet off of the bed and then slowly he released them back onto the bed. And after what seemed like ages, when he finally let go of my toes, my blood immediately went back to normal and I was able to open my eyes again with a sharp intake of breath. When I regained my awareness, I looked down and he was gone. The mischievous little casper had escaped!

And it is because of this incident (and several others, I could go on and on) that I believe in ghosts! I hear too many stories and I've experienced too many strange things in my short, eventful life that I have no other choice but to believe it's all real. I mean, it all kinda makes sense, right? It is scientifically proven that the soul of a human has a weight. And that soul leaves the body when it dies. They measured the weight of humans at the moment of death. And there is consistent weight loss of about 3/4 of an ounce coincident with the moment of death. Where does that weight go?! HUH!?! Huh, doubters?? Does it float away? Well, this particular soul decided to grab my toes one morning and now I'm a believer.

And that faith carries over into my belief of psychics and mediums as well. As hilarious as I think the Long Island medium is, I also think she is absolutely brilliant and deserves everything she's gotten in life. She pegs the craziest details about people! And psychics too! There was a white witch that came up to Hugh Jackman while he was working at the front desk of a gym, before ANYTHING happened for him. Before Les Miz and the Wolverine and the other ones. And she said, "Don't freak out, but tomorrow, you are gonna get a call from an agent. You should take him up on his offer. You are going to be very famous." Excuse me? Did that happen? I think it did. So now, I am patiently waiting out my days for my white witch to come and deliver MY good news. Bring it on ghosts! Bring it on dead people! Bring it on psychics! I'm ready. And as a  rebuttal for those of you who are maybe doubters of psychics and mediums... You can't deny that even if they are full of shit, they are offering people some much needed advice. They are helping people get over and deal with things they've been avoiding. Sometimes, I think psychics and mediums can tell people things that their friends or therapists just never quite figured out. So, I'm gonna call a psychic and get some things sorted out and you should all do the same. Stay comfy y'all.

What makes your life beautiful? It is a question that comes back to me in my toughest moments. And I think it is an important question for everyone to ask themselves every now and again. Because even though we are surrounded by beauty, it is one of those things that we get used to and take for granted. And we can't take beauty for granted, cause beauty will be PISSED! So here's a list of my personal favorite beautiful things:

1) Family and Friends - Top of the list, duh. Even though I often forget to return their calls and only call my dad when I'm really sick or need money and on Father's Day (don't forget!!!), I love my family!  And I have the best friends in the world, no arguments please.

2) Morning Coffee and Morning Talk Shows - I am a firm believer in starting your day off relaxed and stress free. It's why I always try to get to work early and have coffee. Because whatever you start your day with, you are gonna carry with you throughout your whole day. And I love Rachel Ray, I don't care what y'all think, haters gonna hate.

3) So You Think You Can Dance - The best reality show on TV, surpassing The Biggest Loser by just a tiny bit.

4) Underwear - Happiness should be built from the inside out and I am happier in really fun underwear. I just am. I know they are fun, nobody else needs to know, it's my little secret. Nathan's Secret. OOH! Trademark.

5) The Beach - For the second week in a row, my beach plans have been ruined by the rain. I'm FURIOUS! Because I LOVE the beach. I grew up in the mountains and the beach is such a foreign, exotic thing to me. I could stare at the ocean for literally hours and I have. The beach at night? Excuse me. Magical.

6) New York City - NYC and I have grand plans for this summer. It's the #summerofchang and I am gonna milk this city for everything it has. Free movies, rooftop excursions, every park, every exhibit, restaurants, bars, clubs, I'm there.

7) Trader Joe's - Not the process of shopping there because that makes my life anything but beautiful. In fact, it is probably one of my greatest sources of stress. But once those groceries are in my apartment, all is at peace in the world.

8) Babies and Marriage - I lump these two things together because they give me similar warm feelings in my uterus-stomach. I love everything about them, babies in the subway, babies at the restaurant, babies in the park, marriage anywhere, Say Yes to the Dress, David Tuterra's My Fair Wedding. It gives me life.

9) My Roomate - She gives me tough love. She tells me what I need to hear even when I don't wanna hear it. And it helps a lot. And she is also just an incredible, incredible friend. And FUNNY! Cast her! www.vanessmoyen.com

10) My Sodastream - I LOVE soda water. I drink like fifteen glasses a day. Once Sodastream entered my life, everything changed for the better and for good.

So take a moment, think about the beautiful things in your life and your comfy corner will be just a little comfier. Guaranteed. Stay comfy y'all!

In life, we can expect only the unexpected. It's depressing. It's exciting. And it's why I am so fond of the theatre. Theatre embraces the unexpected. You never know when a prop will be forgotten, a mic won't work, or an audience member will fall through a window and land on the marquis of the theatre. Every time that first word is spoken or that first downbeat of the overture is given, the dice has been rolled. And I find that as soon as that first applause moment or burst of laughter hits, actors like to get all Judge Judy on the audience. "Ugh, what a terrible crowd." "They don't know what funny is." "If they'd stop texting, maybe they could enjoy a little ART!" "This is a SOCIETY, there are RULES!" I'll be honest, these words are no stranger to my vocal folds. I love a good audience hate-fest just like any other thespian, sure - BUT, I have recently decided that from now on, when I walk onto a stage or into an audition room, it isn't gonna be about them - it's gonna be about me.

If someone says, "Wow they LOVED you tonight!" I'll respond with a casual agressiveness, "Yeah? Well, I wasn't doin' it for them, was I? I was doin' it for me!" Because life is too short to constantly and obsessively stress over whether or not other people like you. It is hard enough in this life to convince yourself to like yourself. Am I right? Can I get an amen? And I have found in the past that I will bend over backwards to make myself into exactly what other people want or need me to be. And I'm done with all that, ya see?! It's exhausting. So from now on, I'm doin' it for me. Selfish? Perhaps. But is not our primary goal in life to seek some form of happiness? And I find absolutely no joy in trying to decipher what other people think of me. Despite a few striking personality similarities, I am no Long Island medium. Hey nah-nah, what's my name? I'm Nathan Chang. And I'm bein' me. And I hope and pray that myself will be enough. That's all I can do.

Miley was just bein' Miley. Outkast was just bein' honest. And I'm just bein' me. And I'm starting today. Because why wait for the perfect moment to start something amazing, huh? I'd rather live moment to moment instead of sitting around waiting for the perfect moment. Especially since the unexpected is all we can hope to expect. Stay comfy y'all!

I've recently discovered something very odd about myself. I always start my journeys before I realize that I don't know where I'm going. For instance, I get into the car and start driving before I realize that I have no idea how to get where I'm going. Which proves to be a dangerous endeavor because I'm always fighting with Google Maps instead of paying attention to the road.  Or when I'm not in a car, I often start walking down the street in a random direction before I realize that I don't know where I'm going (so I'm fighting with Google Maps and walking into traffic - I seriously have a death wish). Now, one could analyze this a couple different ways.

One could say that I'm being a terrible Boy Scout, and one would be right, because I'm living my life in every way except prepared. I'm making decisions heedless of the consequences. Jumping into things without the proper tools needed to do them well. I often do this while I'm cooking. I'll just turn on the stove before I know what I'm cooking or before I've even taken a pan out of the cabinet or an ingredient out of the fridge (a waste of gas, don't tell my room mate). One might say I'm getting ahead of myself, putting the cart before the horse. Jumping to results instead of enjoying the journey.

Or one might say the opposite. That I'm only focused on the journey with little interest in where it will take me. I'm just jumping headfirst into things with full commitment and an open heart. Yeah, it's dangerous. Yeah, I run the risk of wrecking my car because I'm never exactly sure how I'm gonna get where I'm going. But isn't it an exciting way of going through life? Just getting in the car and driving? Just picking a random direction and walking? Just turning on the stove and figuring out a meal? Exciting? Yes. Dangerous? Yes. But I like to think that I'm at a point in my life where I'm not so much concerned with the how as I am with the what. I know what I wanna do and where I wanna go. And I think I've subconsciously decided that I'm just gonna do it and the how will figure itself out along the journey. So jump in y'all. And, as always, curl up with something or someone soft and stay comfy. Cause life is short.

I have recently started reading "Eat, Pray, Love" - a book that my male, lesbian, and masculine female friends told me was awful and I shouldn't read it - so I knew I'd love it. I'm learning so much about how to deal with men! And I am reading it during my offstage time in the current show I'm doing (...Millie). Just picture me dressed in stereotypical Asian rice-picker garb, with watery eyes and a sympathetic frown on my face reading "Eat, Pray, Love" offstage. I'm only about eight chapters in, which, for those of you who know the book, is like 8 pages. But it has immediately got me thinking about change. Change is something that I think our world is starting to accept. Well, I can't decide if it is something we have decided to accept or if we've just grown weary of fighting it. Either way, I have thought of some examples for you to chew on so that you don't have to think of any on your own.

Example one: I remember back in the earlier days of Facebook, every time something changed on my profile, it was like the world shifted off orbit a little bit. I had to blog about it, talk about it at lunch with friends, make a sassy status about it, etc. But now, it is changing with such frequency that every one seems too exhausted to care. We have become unfazed. Change on Facebook is about as big a deal as that new reality show "Splash" (Nobody cares! You guys aren't even good at diving!). Or here's another one: what about the new G-mail compose layout? I switched right on over to the new feature and didn't bat a single eyelash, not a one. And I figured there was no use "taking a tour of the new features" because it's just gonna change again (And honestly, I use Gmail to write and receive emails. That's the only feature I need from you Gmail). Ain't nobody got time to take tours of Gmail!

And to use a bigger example, gay marriage is at the forefront of political debate right now and public opinion has drastically shifted in a very short amount of time. And I wonder to myself, "Self, what made everyone change their mind so quickly?" And then I talked to a friend who said, "Yeah, my mom called me and was like, 'Hey, should I vote yes or no to this gay marriage thing?' And my friend said, 'Yes mom, obviously yes.'" And that was that. Opinion changed. So maybe most of the people in this country have just called their kids and asked them what they thought! Because they are all just tired of caring or thinking about things. Just a thought.  

All in all, I'm happy that we are growing accustomed to change. As they say in that space wars movie thing with the robots, "Resistance is futile." And I've decided to take sides with a friend of mine you may know who's named Obama. Change has become something that I believe in. And as a return-the-favor to Obama, I am consequently going to become a Chang that others can believe in. I have goals y'all! And I'm gonna make ya proud. Embrace change, embrace Chang, and stay comfy y'all!

I'm standing at a precipice. The realization that it's time to start being an adult is settling on me. I'm not totally there. I'm not about to do something crazy like get married or buy throw pillows or anything, but if the bridge to adulthood were an actual bridge, then I'd say that I just found the bridge on a map and I'm headed that direction. And I'm not afraid to admit it, I know where I'm going. I'm likely to make a few pits stops along the way because once you cross the bridge to adulthood there is no turning back and I wanna make sure I've experienced everything I can on this side of the bridge before I cross it. But, here are some of the things I've recently decided are important foot stones on the drunken, regret-laden, sometimes-I-black-out-and-sing-Taylor-Swift path to adulthood.

1) Be a Good Host - This pertains to both parties and having guests over for the night. At parties, have some alcohol available ahead of time (no mid party liquor store runs) and have some food and non-alcoholic options (not everyone wants to get drunk). When having guests over for the night, have blankets and pillows ready, offer them a drink, some food, coffee in the morning, and a clean towel. A good host has more to offer than just a couch.

2) Don't Drink Tequila, Ever - As an almost-adult I've decided that there are certain alcohols I should and shouldn't drink. Tequila, for me, is a no-no. Find your no-no's and your go-go's! I have my go-to drink, a vodka soda, that not only helps me avoid scream-singing "I Can Go the Distance," but it also helps me keep my manly figure.

3) Get Home Before Two - "I have work in the morning..." is now, I have officially decided, a perfectly acceptable excuse to exit or avoid any potentially non-adult situation. I am an almost-adult and I need to show up to work in the morning well rested and without a hangover (or God-forbid still being a little drunk).

4) Bring a Bottle of Wine to a Party - In my transition from newborn baby to adult (I feel as though I've skipped all stages in between those two), I've decided it is now unacceptable to show up to a party empty handed. Adults bring something for the host, be it wine or Oreos. Something.

5) Remember to Close Your Tab - Adults don't get so drunk that they forget where they are or that they have to pay for things. Adults pay for things. Don't steal. Children steal. Adults have children, they don't act like children. I'm not ready for children. I may never be an adult... Moving on...

6) Wear Nice Clothes - I've reached a point in my life where I not only feel the need to start acting like a grown up, but I also feel the need to start looking like one. Shaving and showering happen on a regular basis now and I own more button ups and sweaters than ever before! I recently bought a pair of chinos. Times are changing.

7) Read the News - In college, I felt, for some reason, that it was okay to say things like, "No I don't know about what's happening in Israel because I'm in college!" That is no longer okay. Adults know what's going on in the world and can offer their piece of the opinion pie in any adult conversation.

8) Save Receipts - An adult is prepared for an audit. I'm not that kind of adult yet. And I don't foresee myself making enough money any time soon to need to be that adult. But I have started saving receipts!

9) Spend Money on Things - I've reached the point in my life where I am starting to realize that there are no more semesters. There is no "next chapter" plainly in view. My future right now is giant shards of amorphous confusion that I have about sixty or so years to piece together into something I won't call regret. So... I should start investing in furniture that will last for a length of time.

10) Buy Groceries - I'm cooking more of my meals than I ever have in the past. Adults cook. And adults know how to find the sales. Adults save leftovers and remember they are in the fridge.

I'm becoming an adult. It's scary to admit, I know, but I'm ready to embrace it. I'm packing my "emergency bag for the rest of time." The lonesomeness, the burden, the struggle, of adulthood is at my doorstep and I'm going to answer the door with confidence.

Stay comfy y'all

I find it interesting to think about the various things we do and accomplish in our lives and how they relate and inform each other. For example, how does my obsession with Harry Potter relate and connect to my acting abilities (infinite connections, believe me. WWDRD - What would Daniel Radcliffe do?). I've been introducing myself into the cabaret world of New York while simultaneously doing the same thing in the improv world. And there is one concept that bridges these two artforms in a most beautiful way: you are enough.

You are enough.Three words that can at any moment make me laugh with utter joy or cry uncontrollable tears of sorrow. In improv, they teach you that you are inherently funny. People are inherently interesting. You don't need to layer on any silly character or crazy idea. You can be yourself and yourself will be enough. And I'm starting to realize that you are enough because you are so very similar to everyone else on this earth. We are all a jumble of the same materials and ideas. We all eat, we all sleep, we all breathe the same air, so it is silly to think that you need to do a scene about lesbian vampires on Mars in a room made of jello in order to be funny or interesting. A funnier scene would develop from two best friends that just had an incredible dinner. It's relatable. It's you. It's me. It's enough.

And in cabaret it's even more so. I've seen so many incredible performers freeze up in cabaret type settings because they aren't playing a character or acting. In cabaret, you are playing yourself. And being yourself is really difficult. I feel like I'm fighting this treacherous battle and I'm on this long and dangerous journey only to arrive at my destination which is - myself. We feel this constant need to layer on more things to make ourselves better versions of ourselves but it all ends up having the opposite effect. We seem desperate or like we're trying too hard. Too much icing on the cake. You are the cake and your cake is perfect. So my little piece of wisdom of the day: you are enough. I've never met a person in my LIFE that I've thought "you are a completely uninteresting person." Even people that I've initially thought as "boring" turn out to have many layers and are just as weird as every other weirdo in this world. So stay comfy y'all, because you're enough.

Tonight is the final night of a show that has been steering my life for the past year. It started as an idea that this stage manager of one of my shows pushed me to turn into an actual thing. And then I started doing a lot of brain storming. And then I mentioned it to someone in passing and they set a date for the show and scheduled a space. And having a deadline forced me to actually start creating things and fast forward a few months, I'm performing the show in New York City in one of New York's oldest, most amazing cabaret theaters. It's been a whirlwind experience to say the least. But I've realized something rather important through this process: doing shows in New York is FUCKING EXPENSIVE but you can't put a price on art. You can't put a price on my boyfriend's tears after the show or my own tears after reading a congratulatory email from my dad. Those things are priceless. Thanks American Express for stealing that idea.

I've actually had to completely restructure my view of money through this process. When I did this show in Colorado last summer, everyone handed everything to me on a silver platter. They gave me a space, my music director volunteered his time for free, the musicians were HAPPY to play for me for free. It was a dream come true! Or maybe it was just because the town I was in was so small there was nothing better to do. In any event, who cares!? I created something pretty awesome for free. And then I came to New York with an idea to do the same thing, but I realized very quickly that if I wanted it to be good, it wasn't going to be handed to me in the same way.

Needless to say, there are plenty of things to do in New York and people don't work for free very often. And rightfully so! New York is ridiculously expensive and getting more so every day. MTA fare hikes, I quit you. I'm surprised they don't charge you to breathe in this city. But I have come to the understanding that I have to view money as a liquid thing. A thing that will come into my life and go out of my life in regular intervals. I've always looked at money as a thing that I should be squirreling away and protecting with my life. And when I have that view of money, it pains me every time I swipe my card or put a pen to my checkbook. But now I see money as opportunity. I see money as classes, contacts, connections, friendships, shows etc. And when I look at money like that, I get a lot less stressed out. Some people work for free because they can, they want to, or they like you a lot and some people charge money for this reason or that and some people charge very little money because of several other reasons. In the end, it doesn't matter. More money doesn't equate to more talent, I mean, I could name several TV actors... Money is simply money and people have their prices. End of story. I didn't go into this business for money or because of money, so I'm learning to let it go. I write those thousands of dollars worth of checks away and I can still breathe. It's a learning experience, but I think it's an important one for every artist to go through. You can't put a price on art.

Stay comfy y'all!

I'm not too good at the whole New Year's resolutions thing, but gosh-darn-it I sure try every year! Last year, I managed to not accomplish ANY of my New Year's irressolutions. Yes, it is "ir-" because last year was a very uncertain year. I mean, let's be real, I'm a pretty productive person day in and day out so while I may fail at accomplishing long term goals, I make my daily goals my bitch. Wake up, check. Eat breakfast, check. Watch Rachel Ray, check. Nap, check. Boom boom boom. Knocking things off my to-do list like Santa. But I've decided to go all out this year and try all of the New Year's resolution tricks in hopes that one of them will stick. So here we go.

My word for the year is "growth." Growth in every sense of the word. I mean, not EVERY sense of the word. I'm not clearing the shelves of Extenze or anything (or am I?). No, I want to gain some weight; growth. I want to finish classes at UCB; growth. I want the decisions I make this year to all come from a place of growth. Are you helping me to grow physically or emotionally? If not, then you can GET OUT!

My catch-phrase for the year is "ripped and rich 2013." Well, let's be real, rich in the literal sense is not going to happen foralongtimepossiblyever#regret. But that's fine, because I want to strive for wealth in every other facet of my life (cue groans from my father). I want to be rich in social interactions this year. Rich in love. Rich in friendship. And ripped is exactly what it is. I want to be ripped. I'm at the gym always.

My slogan for the year is the Boy Scout slogan: do a good turn daily. It's a fool-proof plan. Do something nice for somebody else every single day. For instance, yesterday I was humming while I was waiting for the train. To everyone who heard me, you're welcome. ;)

My mantra for the year is "only hot people sweat." This is something that is literally written on the mirror of my gym and I've taken it to heart. What it means, to me, is that I can't be afraid of the work it takes to get what I want. Too long have I gazed out yonder window stoically yearning and dreaming sans execution. This year I am not going to shy away from the journey. Results are achieved through hard work. So I'm gonna sweat it out this year, y'all. If I'm not sweating when you see me, ask me why. And I'd better have a good reason, else I'll have to have a long talk with me.

So, hopefully one of these things will stick this year. If not, then this time next year I'll get my cat man license, purchase 19 cats, a home in Queens and wait it out (death, that is). Stay comfy y'all!

I'm currently getting paid to sort people into their Hogwarts houses. That's right folks, I work for the sorting hat now. Dreams do come true. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Of course, it is the sorting hat the does the sorting, it definitely isn't the key fob that I'm holding in my other hand with buttons that correspond to the respective houses. Oh no no no, it's all done through magic! Anywho, I've been doing this job for several weeks now and I have compiled a whole list of things that I say to people when they tell me what their favorite Hogwarts house is. BTW... I'm still... sorting things out (BAM!) so my apologies if some of this seems... old hat (BAM!! BAM!!).

Gryffindor - When someone says they are a Gryffindor, I usually genuinely agree with them, because if you are brave enough to volunteer to go up on stage with an absurdly energetic, 6'1", twenty somethin', Hogwarts "alum"wearing a rob, then let's be honest, you are probably a Gryffindor. But then there are the people who get up and say, "Oh, uh, I dunno, what is it called again mom? Gryffindor?" OR they say "I wanna be in Harry Potter house" Or I once had a kid say, "I wanna be in Dumbledore." That's just gross. And annoying. Those are the people who haven't read the books. And those are the people that I put in Hufflepuff.

Hufflepuff - When someone comes up, sits on the stool, looks at me and sincerely admits that they are probably a Hufflepuff, I have so much respect for them. It takes a great deal of self-confidence and self-examination to admit to Hufflepuff-dom. And if someone can admit to being a Hufflepuff, then I give them Hufflepuff and applaud their loyalty and trustworthiness. And I usually say something along the lines of, "You must know yourself very well. And you must be a true Potter fan." But, let's be real, I also use Hufflepuff as a punishment for people that are annoying me, because it makes everyone angrier than if I put them in Slytherin. Because Hufflepuff isn't known for much - except for, expert brooder, Cedric Diggory.

Ravenclaw - I am a Ravenclaw through and through. So when someone wants to be a Ravenclaw, I get excited and usually tell them that I am also a Ravenclaw, that I'm actually Cho Chang's brother, that I'm from China, and that I'll see them around the common room. I am such a creepy weirdo, why do people trust me with their kids?! Most of the time, though, I think people get a kick out of it. Or they are probably just confused and creeped out because I don't look Asian at all. Speaking of, I have to admit, ashamedly, that I always put Asians in Ravenclaw, even if they request a different house. It's just where we belong, y'all, so get used to it!

Slytherin - When someone says their favorite house is Slytherin, I usually respond, "Ah, you could do great things in Slytherin." But what I'm thinking is, "Ah, you must be a Republican." And I thought I was the only one who drew a connection between Slytherins and right-winged politics until today when an older man sat on the stool, said he wanted to be Slytherin, I said my usual, "You could do great things in Slytherin" and he responded, "Or I could become a politician." I laughed out loud. Way to go, sir. You are smartest Slytherin I've ever sorted. After I sort a Slytherin, I always say, "Slytherins always seem to know which house they belong to, don't they?" I think there is enough masked judgement in that phrase, yeah?

So, no matter which house you love, I will respect you, even if you're a Hufflepuff, especially if you're Robert Pattinson. Stay comfy y'all.