Lately I've been having a Henry Higgins-esque cultural confusion with regards to the Amish. I've been spending an exorbitant amount of time in Amish country recently, and every time I see a horse and buggy riding down the street I think, "Look at them! Hrmph! Prisoners of the 1690's. Why can't the Amish be more like us?" I want to take one in and show them the beauty of modern luxuries ("This is called a foot massager!"). My fascination has gone so far as to writing a musical about them (which can be viewed here). But the deeper I travel into the unexplored parts of Pennsylvania and the longer I spend contemplating and absorbing their culture, the more I am starting to understand it. I feel like Jane in Tarzan, confused at first but slowly falling in love with the man in a loin cloth. The man in a loin cloth being the Amish culture.
As I gaze out the window of my Super 8 and look unto the rolling hills and lush greenery that is Amish Country, USA I start to think, "I kinda see the appeal." It truly is beautiful land. And so fresh! It's like a central park that is actually fertile and doesn't stop at fifth avenue! And it must be nice to always have a farm fresh meal on the table. A meal that you worked your ass off for which means (from my experience in the kitchen) that it automatically tastes better. And the uniform they have to wear (black and white) would certainly make dressing much less dramatic (cut to me crying in a pile of clothes).
The part that intrigues me the most, however, is this idea of "rumspringa" which is essentially a point in the adolescent Amish's youth when they are allowed to go all out, no holds barred, crazy. I'm talking INSANE! Like taking off their bonnets, driving a car, or even, dare I say it, engage in premarital sex. Why would I see this "rumspringa" as a fascinating topic? Because not having something for so long and then suddenly having everything must be so overwhelming. So overwhelming, in fact, that I've considered producing another musical entitled, "Rumspringa Wakening" with the hit song, "Totally Shunned!" It's gonna be big!
The best thing about it all is that Amish people will never read this because they can't have MacBooks...HOW DO THEY DO IT!? Stay comfy y'all.
"Okay, when we hang up I'm gonna text you to let you know when I'm on Skype. And if Skype is being finicky, I'll call you and we can talk on the phone while we're Skyping. And I'll send you an email later tonight about that thing we were talking about. And I sent you a card. It is in the mail. Love you!" Ever had a conversion like this with your long distance significant other? I have. Keeping a long distance relationship breathing is not an easy task and one would think that with so many ways of communicating nowadays long distance would be über easy, right? Wrong. I think it actually makes it harder. So I give myself some simple guidelines.
1) Skype - Skype is a wonderful, amazing thing. And it is keeping long distance relationships alive all over the country! But if it is used every single day (or multiple times a day) it can start to feel obligatory and can lose its power. And it is such a cocktease because you can see the person, but when you reach out to touch them you touch a plastic screen. It's depressing!!! Virtual love, yuck. So I think Skype should be used only when you really need to see your boo's face. So save it for those über-lonely nights. It's also so finicky that it can get annoying always being like, "What did you say? You froze."
2) Texts - Texting is best used for those little, sweet nothings. There is nothing better than getting a "<3" in the middle of the day for no reason. This is true for family and friends too. I love getting a "miss you" or a "just had coffee ice cream and thought of you" text. What it shouldn't be used for is lengthy descriptions of how your day is going. I hate texting paragraphs.
3) Phone - The phone is probably my go-to. I like hearing my boo's voice, ya know? It comforts me. Especially, before I go to bed so that I get a "good night." Best way to end a day. But, like Skype, it should never become an obligatory thing. I hate those awkward phone convos when nothing really exciting happened since the last time you talked (yesterday) but you have to stay on the phone because you agreed to talk on the phone on a regularly scheduled basis. It ends up being, "So... how is the weather there?" And I cringe when I hear people say things like, "Sarah's boyfriend has called her like four times today and my boyfriend has only texted me once." So limit it to when you actually have something to talk about.
4) Email - I kinda love emails. But, that isn't really news to those who know me. I obviously like writing. And I like being able to edit things and make them say exactly what I want them to say. I think emails are good when you have a conflict to resolve. Because you can take time and think about how you really feel and put it into words. That is difficult to do on the phone.
5) Missive - There is nothing better nowadays than getting mail that isn't a bill or junk mail. Getting a funny/loving card from a significant other is probably one of my favorite things. Letters and cards take time and effort and when your boo is putting in effort for you, that feels good.
So, whether your boo is right beside you, miles away, or if you're still searching for a boo, stay comfy y'all.
I feel like it is finally time to 'fess up and tell you all the story of how I got the job that I currently have. I love my job and am having a blast, but I'm gonna be real for a sec - my audition to get this job was a big strug mess! I'm talking Elise Taff level strug (she's the struggiest friend I have, check her blog out here!) I submitted for an appointment and got one late in the day the day before the audition. They very kindly said, "We will need you to be there at noon tomorrow." I, however, was not in the city. So I responded, "I'm not in the city currently so I might be a little bit late because my bus is coming in around that time." To which she responded, "Well, the dance call starts at noon, so good luck!" Now, this is where the chaos ensued. My bus was scheduled to arrive in the city at 11am. But, I knew MegaBus and how much of a strug it was about being on time anywhere. So, I crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.
The next morning, I arrived in NYC at exactly 12:15pm. Thanks MegaBus! I ran like the wind to Chelsea Studios, my rolly suitcase giving me so much grief at every curb doing that whole bouncy-bouncy-twisty-topple-overy thing that rolly suitcases like to do when you are in a hurry. I get to the audition room and the monitor says to me, "You're really late, we started teaching the combo a little early because everyone was here." Defeated, I ask if they mind if I just change clothes right there in the hallway in front of them because there is no time to find a bathroom. They obviously didn't mind. Actors are always getting naked in front of each other, am I right? It is around this time that I fully realize a couple very real, very scary truths: I didn't bring dance clothes, I didn't have my book if they needed me to sing something, I didn't have a headshot or resumes, and to top it all, I wasn't feeling super on top of my game, I hadn't showered in a while, I hadn't slept, and I had just got off of a five-hour bus ride. I laugh to myself as I throw on my pajamas to do the dance call. Many of you are probably thinking, "Why did you even attempt to go to the audition?" But I walked into the room.
I get into the room just as they are doing a final run of the audition dance. I follow along in the back as best as I can and learn it on the fly (luckily, it isn't too hard and Steph Heroux taught me right). Then, they call out everyone's name to put people in groups. Marcia Milgrom Dodge (Dir. of Ragtime on Broadway) is running the audition. She calls everyone's name, but mine... because she doesn't have my headshot... because I didn't bring one. I raise my hand and say, "You forgot me." They find my name on the list and say, "Do you have a headshot?" To which I respond, "They didn't quite make it to the audition with me." One of the girls runs upstairs to print out the email version I sent them and we continue on with the audition. Luckily, they don't make me sing anything from my book (that I didn't bring) they just give us songs from the show (which I already knew). But she encouraged us to remain in our dance clothes when we sing so she could remember us. So I kept on my pajamas, but I threw on my boots so I wasn't auditioning barefoot. And then I auditioned for a Broadway director. That night, I got the call.
So what can I learn from this experience? NEVER DO THAT AGAIN! Yeah, I got the job but that was because after all I had been through I had developed this whole "Fuck it, things can't get much worse" attitude which probably read as confidence. I am the type of person that needs to have more control of my life, so I would prefer to not audition like that again. What I need to do next time is find that confidence without being an absolute mess. And I advise no one else to audition like this either.
Stay comfy y'all!
A wise man once told me to "never half-ass two things; whole-ass one thing." That man was Ron Swanson from NBC's Parks and Recreation, the best show on television, everyone should be watching it. I don't typically take Ron Swanson's advice, because if I did I would have heart disease from all of the meat I'd be consuming, but this particular quote just makes a whole lot of sense to me. I have recently started to come to terms with the fact that in many ways, I am a lazy person.
I am always searching for the easy way out of things, always choosing the less energetic route, always just leaving my clothes on the floor. This might be residual laziness from years of doing nothing but playing the Sims and eating Little Debbie's or I might just be a reflection of my generation, resting in the comfort of my parent's achievements and in no hurry to figure out my own life. But I am starting to realize that I can't get through life like that anymore. College is over, I'm in it now.
It's so easy to start a bunch of different projects, go to a bunch of different dance classes on occasion or sort-of take voice lessons on occasion. But if I wanna actually get something from my time, I need to jump into it whole-ass. I can't have just one cheek chillin' out ya know? I think this philosophy extends into my personal life as well as my career life. If I want a relationship to succeed, then I have to commit whole-ass to it. Love isn't a local brew that can be sampled before you order a full glass. You've gotta just order the full glass and trust that it'll be good. And that's what it comes down to, right? Jumping in whole-ass is scary but you have to trust that it'll all be worth it and it'll all be the right decision. In my limited experience, the danger, while admittedly terrifying, is always worth it.
Stay comfy ya'll!
Quotation Marks Fail
Saw this in a gas station and I've officially decided that people are just all idiots. What is the purpose of these quotation marks?!? Are you using the quotes for emphasis?! THAT'S NOT WHAT QUOTES ARE FOR!! This is the sad state of our country.
In my unceasing pursuit of the comfiest corner in the world, I have, much to my dismay, found myself in the unsettling arms of the Super 8 motel chain. As I pass through the hideously carpeted hallways that wreak of prostitution and bad decisions I begin to fully realize how spoiled I've been. Growing up, I was accustomed to vacationing in the laps of luxury in such hotels as the Hampton Inn, the Holiday Inn and the Double Tree. There, I was greeted with a smile and a warm cookie. The sunshine-bathed rooms were only magnified in there grandioseness by the crisp, clean air coming out of the AC and the "heavenly beds" that were made to perfection with loving, foreign hands. However, now that I am footing the bills, I have discovered that such luxuries come with a price tag a bit beyond my budget. So, as the classically truthful adage goes, you get what you pay for. I have been kicked out of luxurious Downton and banished to the filthy stables.
I'm currently blogging from a Super 8 in Wapakeneta, Ohio. Or as my boyfriend misheard me, "Wombat-kinetic-energy, Ohio." The dim, dusky room is furnished in what I can only guess to be resold funeral parlor furniture. The absence of a fitted sheet on my bed is all too unnerving. The mysterious brown stain creeping along the edge of the box spring is only highlighting the lack of a bed skirt. The hilariously identical, old pictures of flowers hanging above each bed does little to add anything remotely cheery to the room. In fact, they only serve to show how thoughtless and tasteless the decor is. And yet, I must sadly and honestly admit that this is one of the nicest Super 8's we have been to yet!
The last Super 8 I was in, I had the great fortune of crawling into a bed that was already occupied - with bed bugs. A first experience for me that I wish to never repeat. After a room change, a hotel change (thank you Comfort Inn across the street), a couple sleepless nights, and a thorough inspection of everything I own, I have recovered from that experience and I now meticulously examine my beds before I crawl into them. The first Super 8 we stayed in was fortunate enough to have mold in the shower that didn't actually work and a faulty toilet. The Russian mechanic that came to "fix" the shower abruptly said to me, "You must lift up for water!" And left. So, what knowledge have I wrought from these experiences? That a comfy corner is not always so easy to come by. The things that keep me sane are my Yankee candle I carry to every room I stay in, the blanket that my mom gave me, and Netflix. So wherever you are in the world, I hope you are finding your corners a little comfier than the one I'm in currently. And I hope you're grateful for it. And Super 8? I super hate you. So get it together.
Stay comfy ya'll.
